Gossip Girl
The Princess Dowry

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 14 USERS: C-
YOU GRADE IT
Waking The Dragon

MARFA

Lily: "Whew, drinking from 10-5 will really take it out of a person. Let's put on our snuggies and watch some old person show or something."

Ivy pops up from behind the casket! It is terrifying and hilarious!

Ivy: "Helllloooooo, bitches!"
Rufus's vexed masculinity: "Get out, little girl! I am protecting my home!"
Ivy: "Actually, your asses can get out."
Rufus: "Excuse me? I will totally fight a little girl."
Ivy: "No, I mean literally get out of my fucking house. Remember?"
Lily: "But we have nowhere else to..."
Rufus: "DUMBO. We have my loft where Dan lives. It's pretty much the same amount of opulent as here, but in Brooklyn. How insulting that you didn't even remember that."

Ivy: "I don't give a fuck where you go. You have five minutes."
Lily: "I suppose apologizing would actually work, because you're a rational, reasonably sweet young lady who thinks of me as family. Therefore, I am going to chunk this champagne flute at your head and then go pack up all my shoes and crap and leave. That'll show you!"
Ivy: "I'm not even trying to be a bitch, I'm just really tired and I know you're not going to let this go.
Lily: "Oh, you can bet I'm going to turn this into a nightmare of dysfunction."
Rufus: "And I'll be right there beside her! Totally useless!"

GGHQ

Serena: "Aaaauuuughhhhhh."
Dorota: "Miss Serena, you are here in fully lit bedroom? I thought it was Polish ghost."
Serena: "No, I'm just bored and miserable and nobody is in love with me."
Dorota: "You make stunningly rapid transition to ennui."
Serena: "My cousin I was obsessed with hates me. My other new cousin I got obsessed with hates me. My best friend is in love with my one true love, who disregards my feelings and existence to a hilarious degree. My Daddy, who has yet to give one iota of a shit about me, is apparently adopting all of Carol's fake babies. I can't read, I don't know how to be places, and I may never find my hairbrush. And don't even get me started on that bitch CeCe leavin' me out of her will. It's enough to make a girl rustle some horses or something. Steal a boat in Santorini."
Dorota: "Me miss Carter Baizen too, Miss Serena. I turn on symbolic lamp and touch my pregnant stomach like objective correlative. You future package arrive soon for new havoc."
Serena: "Just bring me porn and ice cream, Dorota. You know the fuckin' drill by now."

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