Georgina: "Ladies, please! Think about this. There is obviously something else going on."
Charlies: "What do you mean? Are you psychic?"
Georgina: "I am possessed of many powers and talents, and one of them is identifying bastards. Lola, learn your parentage before it is too late. And Ivy, keep stirring shit up until I say."
Wm vdW: "Did somebody say 'parentage'? It is I, father of half of Lily's kids and most of the people on this television program!"
Charlies: "What a curious coincidence that you turned up just now!"
Rhodes Women: "I just wish Eric was here, or Jenny, or Pilot Inspektor, or any of CeCe's other many grandchildren that were replaced by her new made-up grandchildren."
Wm vdW: "I just wish my incomprehensible joke about Zaire."
Georgina: "Dr. vdDubs, I would like to introduce you to your fake niece and your real niece. Which is which? It's all a mystery!"
Nate: "Lola, the Rhodes Women are about to start their annual knife fight. Let's get out of their way. And Ivy, you need to get the fuck on up out of here based on principle."
Charlies: "No, we're going to stay until everything blows up. Georgina told us how this whole thing is going to go down."
Creeper: "Okay, here's the deal. You can get out of the prenup based on [things], but you have to agree to a full press blackout."
Blair: "Makes sense. Because I am an embarrassing, ridiculous person."
Creeper: "Even tiny little UES blogs, to which the Crown Heads of Europe suddenly subscribe for some reason, and over which you have no control."
Blair: "Seriously, whatever. Let's say that makes sense."
Creeper: "Do you understand what I am saying?"
Blair: "All one ever wanted was a quiet life, away from the maddening crowd."
Creeper: "Okay, we're good then. I sure hope you don't turn up on GG in about one second, doing something ludicrous."
Georgina: "You sure look happy, Chuck. Almost like you aren't about to lose your only storyline."
Chuck: "At least she's mad at Dan."
Georgina: "Actually she isn't. But if you want her to stay in her loveless marriage..."
Chuck: "-- Of course I do! That's how I prove my love, by doing awful things!"
Georgina: "...Then all you have to do is stand there while I post this picture of her kissing Dan, to myself, from Dan's phone, and then discover having sent it to myself, and then have my husband post it on Gossip Girl."
Chuck: "I've been thinking of growing a Brooklyn moustache, the better to twirl it. That's as active a participant as I'm willing to be right now."