Georgina: "Dan, here's your phone back."
Dan: "Sometimes I think you're not working in my best interests. And didn't we have a mutual-blackmail agreement?"
Georgina: "I'm quitting the GG gig, Humphrey. So I am selling everybody out at this wake, one by one, until somebody goes insane."
Dan: "Okay but like Eleanor Waldorf is going to go bankrupt now. And Blair won't give me her sweet kisses..."
Blair: "Dan! I am mad about you once again, like I was a second ago!"
Dan: "It wasn't me, it was Gossip Girl! Who is Georgina!"
Blair: "That... Makes a lot of sense, actually. Carry on."
Chuck, in a hilarious drive-by hiss: "How does it feel to be set up and lose the person you love for something you didn't do?"
Creeper: "Oh, also our whole deal was a big lie anyway."
Blair: "I'm not sure I follow."
Creeper: "[I've watched this part twelve times and I still don't understand what the fuck is going on here, but somehow Estee gets the prince and we still lose the dowry.]"
Blair: "Bridget Jones joke! I am a time traveler from 1998!"
Georgina: "My greatest and most incomprehensible triumph yet!"
Chuck: "Still kind of think I'm the hero of this story."
Dan: "There has never been a case on this show where you were that. Especially against me. I may be an insufferable dick, but my aggression is 100 percent passive. Nice Guys are the creepiest Guys of all."
Chuck: "It's not only the Blair part, but you also hurt my feelings because I thought what we had was real."
Dan: "I would like nothing better than that, but you've spent the past three episodes fucking with every part of my entire life, so..."
Blair: "What's going on here? Are you fighting?"
Blair: "Are you fighting over me?"
Boys: "SOMEWHAT TANGENTIALLY!"
Chuck: "Dan, admit to playing passive-aggressive head games ever since the accident, leveraging our dead baby and Our Lord Jesus Christ, blaming me for the video thing, and generally zapping Blair into an unholy dependence on you under the guise of friendship."
Dan: "...Actually, yeah. That's valid. I didn't really know that I was doing that, and I do honestly care for you both as friends, but I was being pretty sleazy at certain points. Like when I fostered your mental illness about Magic Jesus, knowing that it was grief over your dead baby more than anything else. Or when I ruined your wedding and blamed anybody that stood between us."
Blair: "Actually, now that you're saying it out loud I guess I get that. You're still the one I like, though."