Blair: "Eleanor, I don't know what time it is France, but I just got engaged and I thought you should know. Oh, of course it's not a real engagement. That would equal me being happy. No, this is one of those we barely know each other so we're going to be dating for our whole engagement, I just got beaten up by my other boyfriend, Serena tried to have me murdered kinds of deals. I'll explain at the end of the episode, when we get there."
Gossip Girl: "[Fanciful doggerel. Pitiful rhyming mumbo-jumbo, as though simply forming a sentence weren't usually beyond her skills, now she's going to be rhyming?]"
Chuck: "Private Investigator, I have once again changed my mind about the fire and the blowed-up lady and my Bart Legacy and my opinion of myself and everything and whatever. I know you love hearing me talk about Raina's stupid mom as much as I like talking about her, and I pay you enough that you have to listen to my endless chundering on. So settle in, Private Investigator. Put those feet up."
Blair: "Our conversations are so amazing! I love comparing the Met to the Louvre and jet-setter things like that."
Louis: "Sometimes when I talk it's kind of hard to listen to."
Serena: "Oh hey, assholes. I see your lives still haven't been totally destroyed. I should have woken up even earlier. Yeah, that's something I do now: Wake up in the morning. Take that, Places!"
Louis: "That giant blonde girl always makes me feel like I'm going to be trampled. I have to go the Ambassador's Salon in the Palace of International Stuff or some such nonsense."
Blair: "Sometimes when I act kittenish and adoring, it's hard to watch."
Louis: "That is because there is zero reason for us to pretend that our relationship is real."
DEMILITARIZED BATHROOM ZONE
Blair: "That was cool how you just were totally mean to both of us for no reason."
Serena: "You know what, you're right. Consider the feud dropped."
Blair: "...That was easy."
Serena: "Honestly I was having trouble remembering why we were fighting."
Blair: "Yeah, it made little sense."
Dorota: "This relationship is a joke, you guys realize that?"
Blair, verbatim: "Dorota, everyone knows that with Princes, things escalate quickly. It's genetic. After all, Prince Charming knew he loved Cinderella as soon as he saw her preternaturally tiny feet."
Serena: "Wait, he's a descendent of Prince Charming? That is awesome!"