Chuck: "Tell your Prince where your heart truly lies! Tell him!"
Blair: "Oh my God, I was already fucking this up so well on my own. Princess Sophie, I'm sorry about my trashy friends."
Sophie: (Pretty sure she orders the assassination of both of them at this time.)
Blair, verbatim: "In all my years of public humiliation -- which, let's face it, are many -- that was the absolute worst... And who can blame her? I should have known my past with Chuck would come back to haunt me."
Serena, fucking it right up: "You're probably gonna hate me for saying this, but as drunk and inappropriate as Chuck was, I still felt a little bad for him... I don't know, I guess I just always thought your prince was right here, with his Empire, in Manhattan..."
Blair: Takes this... Poorly.
Serena: "I'm not taking his side, clearly tonight was a performance worthy of Santorini Serena, but he's clearly out of his blooming onion right now, and as my brother I think it's a little ridiculous that you've suddenly decided to pull out of the mutual obsession thing you two have going."
Blair: "Fuck you! My obsession tactic is obsessing on any- and everything else, you know that. And I know you printed out those pages from Gossip Girl and sent them to Princess Sophie in that weird folder. I thought it was because of the Dan thing, but maybe you've been a secret agent for Chuck this whole time."
Serena: "Give me a fucking break. Like I can even conceptualize being a double agent. When are you going to get it through your head that I can tell at most three lies in a row before I get bored? I am really, really sorry. Please don't pretend there's a Team Blair and a Team Chuck, when we both know I'm Team Serena. And can barely spell even that."
Blair: "First of all, I actually do like Louis a lot, and it pisses me off that you don't respect that. To have that magical experience in Paris and then the story actually continues? That's a once-in-a-lifetime deal. Second of all, I gave myself to the darkness of Chuck for like two seasons, so even just the idea of love being something other than a dank mystery cave full of dicks and weird hate-sex is new to me. And third of all, this is about you and Dan, and you think that just because you fell in endgame shipper love in junior year, please don't hold me to that same pathetic standard. Some of us are grownups here."