Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
It's My Party & I'll Roam If I Want To

Jenny laughs about the fans that give you homework, which really are the best kind, and Dan hands some Yale paperwork over to Rufus, who cheers his children for variously getting into Yale and living to her sixteenth birthday. I guess once you've stolen clothes from vintage shops and high-profile designers, gone homeless with cokehead models and danced bicuriously to t.A.T.u., that's how far you've legitimately lowered the bar. Jenny and Dan giggle about how she's still had the most interesting life of anybody on the show, and then turn on Rufus. Where is their coffee? Where are the waffles? Turns out they're going to Lily's for breakfast, because time and space are up to their old tricks. Jenny's excited most by the variety of jams and jellies available at PRADA MARFA, because Jenny is weird. Vanessa shows up as they're leaving, looking fabulous, and you can tell how much she's grown by the fact that she's using the front door these days.

Dan assumes, of course, that she's there to sniff and lick his fan letter, but in fact she's there to talk about herself. Specifically, the problem she herself created out of whole cloth last week, by teaming up with Dan to strong-arm Nate into rejoining his family, freaking out when he did so, and then ditching a party during his speech. Dan reminds her of these things, but she only obliquely notes that Dan was the one who told her to give Nate "space" and not contact him herself. "I just wish he would give me a chance to apologize," she says, which is just so high school it makes me want to cry. Dan says -- despite the fact that it's not Nate's responsibility to take this step -- that Nate will probably call, being a gentleman, and goes back to preening his letter. Immediately, Nate emails Vanessa to come over in a half hour, and Dan wanders off with little stars and whirligigs around his head, having convinced himself that he is psychic.

Leaving the bakery, Serena runs right into Poppy Lifton, whose hair is shorter but not yet horrible-looking, and a hideous Sonny Bono fur vest. Poppy's totally excited to see Serena, but it only takes about a second for her to figure out that all of her good advice about acting like a grownup and treating herself like a precious china kitten has gone to waste. S fills her in on the homely details of her past few episodes: broke up with Lonelyboy, got back together, broke up again; fought with Blair, got back together. Serena's decompensation throughout this scene is a thespian masterwork, it really is: her nervous nodding and desperate smile increase in direct proportion to hearing the childish crap coming out of her mouth, and meanwhile Poppy's like, "Cool, I just got back from Spain with my boyfriend and am jet-setting my ass off, but that's fun too."

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Gossip Girl




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