Gossip Girl
Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 159 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Beyond The Goblin City

Serena: "Why would I stay here when it literally flayed the soul out of your body?"
Dan: "Everything that you wanted, I have done. You cowered before me, and I was frightening. I have reordered time, I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous?"

Ant-Dan punches The W.A.S.P. eleven times in the abdomen. He drinks a potion and becomes HUGE and then drinks a potion and becomes TINY. It is SCIENCE.

Serena: "Fine, I believe you that you love me or whatever. Still takin' off. My other superhero boyfriend is Ryan Reynolds, I have no reason to stay."
(While TINY, Ant-Dan sneaks his Nice Chapter into her luggage, like a TINY DICK.)
Dan: "Turn back, Serena. Turn back before it's too late!"

ROOF

Chuck: "Let's talk about it for a really long time instead of me getting the fuck off this roof away from the man who wants to kill me and outweighs me by possibly an entire hundred pounds."
Bart: "Fine. Just take everything Dan has been saying about Serena, and cross-apply. I'm awful to you because I love you, and I thought blowing up a plane with you inside it would finally make you a man."

Fisticuffs. Hidden chest hair. The whole episode veers in a very strange direction, where the music sounds like a carnival or Teletubbies and the camera's on mollies and everybody's just kind of slip-slidin' around and Blair shows up just in time to see Chuck -- HILARIOUSLY ENOUGH -- punch his father so hard that he goes sailing through the air like motherfucking Crouching Tiger and ends up hanging off the roof.

Gossip Girl

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