Caterer: "I'm just a caterer, though."
Bart: "I'm Bart Bass. Look at my skull face. Look into my skellington eyeballs. It's them or you."
This is my favorite one. Ivy wanders up with a tray of drinks and, instead of napkins, plenty of copies of the Very Important Envelope.
Ivy: "Cocktail, sir? We have a lovely Sudanese vodka..."
Bart: "Oh my God, what are you even doing on this show? And why do you have all these copies of the Very Important Envelope?"
Ivy: "To freak you out! One of them may even contain copies of the Boring Documents!"
Bart: "Seriously? I do not have time for this elaborate shit!"
I like Season Five of Buffy, it's my second favorite, but goddamn did I hate it when they did this same thing on that finale. "Oh, all these random things from random episodes? Oh, like this hammer that suddenly we're saying can kill God? Oh, and like a necklace or something? WHAT A PLAN! It's so fucking deep if you think about it, I mean wow, can you guys believe how tightly plotted this shit was? If we keep saying it, maybe you'll believe that shit!"
Like, wouldn't it be cooler -- and frankly easier, for everyone -- if you actually just did it? If you actually just did the thing you say you're doing, instead of pretending to do the thing? It doesn't take any more time to tell a good story than a shitty one, if you think about it. Just a bit more effort.
"Here's what we'll do to stretch out the Chair story this season into interminability. We'll get like five or six props -- doesn't matter what, who even cares, like, it could be a lady that turns out to be a horse that turns out to be a painting or a photograph that turns out to be an envelope that turns out to also be a painting -- and make them the focal point of each episode, so it seems like they're moving forward even though we're just throwing shit at the wall. But then, in the two-part finale, we'll gather all those objects together -- and it still won't make any sense! But those idiots we hate, our viewers, will be like, Ahh, I remember there was an envelope. Amazing. Won't that be hateful of us?"
Blair: "Bart, here's that little girl whose horse -- and then father -- you murdered."