Uncle Bart: "Really? I don't recognize her."
Iman: "Uncle Bart, fuck yourself."
Uncle Bart: "Luckily I commissioned an oil painting of your father after I had him stuffed, too. They are all in my secret lair, the paintings and also the dead things you loved."
Blair: "Fancy a chat? And, Iman, please tell security I am about to get kidnapped, just like every other season."
Bart: "Wait, is this Season Six's attempt at a Christmas episode? Like I'm Scrooge and you bitches are..."
Blair: "That was part of my alleged inspiration, yes."
Bart: "God, this show got stupid while I was dead."
Actually I liked this line: "You know, I've always felt that Scrooge was unfairly maligned. He simply expected people to act like adults."
In other news, Chuck is dead. No, really: It is on the news. Blair's acting is incredible, as she stares past Bart at the TV and then at Bart and then the TV and the noises in her head are getting louder and louder and her anime tear ducts are getting sadder and doe-ier and you are just about shaking with horror for her, and you think maybe she's going to launch herself right at his skellington eyeballs, but she doesn't move. She doesn't blink. Just falls quietly into a million, billion pieces.
Hottie: "Good evening. My name is Jason Pomeranc, and I'm the chairman and founder of Thompson Hotels. I'd like to take this opportunity to welcome you all to New York Real Estate's MOTY..."
Bart giggles in poor Blair's face, and heads up toward the podium. Serena joins her, struggling to put together what the words and shapes on the TV mean. What the faces are saying. One of the news guys is like, "What's funny is how this show's been doing for real for three years what people keep accusing Vampire Diaries of doing this season, even though actually that show is doing the job this show used to, and brilliantly. That's what's fucking funny. That's the real ass-ache."
Hottie: "To truly introduce him properly, it's my honor to present the number one chronicler of Manhattan's elite*... Mr. Daniel Humphrey."
*(Was that the Gossip Girl cameo?)
Daniel, verbatim: "I would like to introduce an icon of New York real estate and a pillar of our community. He is the center of the Bass family and he's a personal inspiration to me. Please welcome..."