Gossip Girl
The Revengers

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A+
Beyond The Goblin City

Chuck: "Well, at this point I have to. You added the fourth person I love in all the world, myself. Admittedly a minor player in this game, since I don't love myself very much, but still. You just went from an Orange to a Red when you blew me up."
Bart: "Look, I'm sorry I keep trying to kill you. And all of your friends. And all of your moms."


Georgina: "Ivy, Sage, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Ivy & Sage: "For once, yes. Because we are also super gross."
Georgina: "I meant we should form a gang! I was going to quit talent agenting anyway, let's start a business where we get paid to be utterly ineffectual while dressed like various nightmares."

Blair: "Bitches, stop. Where is Chuck? He won't answer his phone and I'm afraid he blew up again."
Georgina: "I blew every security guard in this whole place, which is why I can tell you that he hasn't left via any of the usual exits, such as doors. Have you checked the roof? Because it's always the roof with that guy."


Nate: "[Whine.]"
Captain: "[Still unable to understand the concept of taking responsibility for your actions.]"
Sage: (Still Sage. Still Sagein' up the place, like she does, and driving off the Captain like she would.)

Sage: "Hey, you know what might save your company that somebody else owns?"
Nate: "No, obviously."
Sage: "Let's just expose Gossip Girl!"
Nate: "Oh my God, you're right. I totally forgot that we've known who Gossip Girl is since last season. How the fuck did I forget that?"
Sage: "You've had a lot going on."
Nate: "Yeah. Lotta bullshit."

I mean, I know they didn't really. It was just security footage of a magical all-seeing blogger, wearing a cat-burglar costume, stealing herself in the form of a laptop computer back from Serena, in the coatroom of a traveling sex carnival that Nate's boss was running, under a second, anagrammatic identity, to help Chuck's father pretend that he was dead, to escape federal charges stemming from trading horses for embargoed oil and commissioning oil portraits of them.

All that checks out, sure. But even still, I feel confident knowing that somehow, we will not ever see the process that goes from that, to figuring out who Gossip Girl is. It will just happen. You know that it will just happen because that's how this show works. Maybe like one act, I'll give you one act for them to go through the motions and have the big reveal be right before commercial. But that's all I'm betting, and that's at best.

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Gossip Girl




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