Driver: Somehow does not backhand her.
Bart: Hops into the jump seat. It's a kidnap!
Blair: "Wait, what is going on?"
Bart: "Why is everybody so goddamn stupid today? The hell do you think is going on?"
Charles: "Did you kidnap Blair? People are always doing that, it's so dumb."
Bart: "Actually I just dropped her off upstairs, she's fine. The point is that I can kill her and I will kill her. I got your Lily, I got your Blair, I got your Nate. You ready to play yet?"
Charles: "Basses have worse luck with common form of transit than the Kennedy family. Fine. Put me on your jet to Moscow that is clearly going to blow the fuck up."
Captain: "So you know how Bart Bass controls everything, including the justice system? Yeah, that's still going on. Sorry."
Nate: "I don't even care, I totally did commit fraud."
Captain: "Bullshit, for real? But integrity is like your only thing. Surely there was a complex circumstance that would have led to..."
Nate: "No, Bart just looked me in the eye and told me to do it, so I did it. Integrity is not my only thing, it's not even my first thing. My first thing is that I am a highly suggestible idiot."
Blair: "Car service, my town car has been absconded by a ruthless billionaire. Please send another."
Car Service: "Um, you're already on the way to the private Bass airfield, getting ready to board an exploding plane to Moscow."
Blair: "Wait, you can't tell the difference between me and Chuck either? Isn't it so weird being confused about that? Well, I better flag down a taxi if I'm going to rush to the airport and offer -- for the billionth time in a row -- to throw away my entire life and personality and dreams and loved ones in order to make Chuck stop crying, even though Chuck is never going to stop crying and isn't even that into me."
Dan: "Bart, why are you reading the Nice Serena Chapter? I'm amazed."
Bart: "No, what's amazing is that I am finding the time to do all of this shit everywhere."
Dan: "So my plan -- Do you want to hear this? Do you give a shit? Does anybody give a shit? No? Okay -- so my plan is to make Serena hate me, and then she will be in love with me."