S moves on in the next step of her daring ice cream plan, where she asks how things are going with Damien. Of course, they are going swimmingly, as Jenny heartbreakingly relates: "Um, he listens to me, and he treats me like an adult. And really likes me. I've never felt this way before." Love that. Like if Rufus's big throwdown were like, "You can't wear short skirts!" Then she would be like, "Damien loves when I wear short skirts! We're so grown up!" She takes about one more second before laying the V card down in front of Serena, who would maybe choke on her ice cream if, you know, either of them were actually eating it.
"Tonight? Uh, I'd say that is serious then. Your first time, that's monumental. It is your first time, right? Are you nervous?" She informs Jenny that nervousness is to be expected, and also that losing your virginity is a big deal because it's a one-time thing. She even edges out onto a sort of questionable ledge about how she wishes she'd waited for somebody who would... Um, treat her like Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. That's her go-to.
Wait, no, that totally applies, because Baby's weirdness about her V card was the most relatable part of the movie, and is what's going on here. I've always felt sympathy for straight people because they really do take that stuff soooo seriously, like, what's okay and what's going too far, at exactly what point am I a whore, when did I go wrong and become tainted, am I on an adventure or am I ruining myself, and you can get your head all snarled around the gears and end up waiting too long, and it's like even when you get sick of your virginity you're still in a position of it having become more, not less, important, so the stress remains and it's harder to lose than ever. That's the nightmare scenario, I would think, past a certain age. It's happened to friends of mine and when they finally grit their teeth and did it, it brought up way weirder shit than if they'd just gotten drunk and done it back in the day like the rest of us.
And I get that, I do. I just think that drawing the lines between this thing or that activity or this whole other thing is kind of silly. It's all sex. It all does what sex is meant to do, which is: Be awesome. The only way you know you did it wrong is if it wasn't totally awesome, and if that happens you should try some other ways and keep practicing. The only reason Full-On Doing It is such a huge Rubicon, no-way-back, now-you're-a-human-adult deal is because pregnancy is a huge deal -- everything else, especially in this day and age, is just social cosmetics.