Meanwhile dumb Jenny is like, "I've never heard of Dirty Dancing!" and dumb Serena is like, "You should download it!" And the fifty-year-old jowly grandfather who wrote that exchange sat back in his leather rolly-chair and thought, "Yes, that is a totally realistic conversation. Kids these days!"
Which doesn't distract from the awesomeness of this scene, which is wonderfully acted. You can really see S pretending to be the caring big sister, which because of the secret of Serena, means she actually is this caring big sister. Her fears and love for Jenny spill out over the edges of the pretense in really subtle, gorgeous ways. They both do a great job.
So Jenny explains to S in very small words that Damien is the right guy, and S can do no more than lie and say she supports Jenny's decision. Then she goes, "Obviously you're not going to school today, and you should commemorate today, so how about our boyfriend Nate takes you to lunch?" Nate's like, Um, whaaaa but goes with it. Being that she has to get ready for Chuck's thing, so why not make it totally awkward and have the love of Jenny's life take her to a lunch in celebration of Jenny's Blossoming Womanhood. SERENA PLAN!
Jenny's like, "In a totally different and less creepy way, that sounds great! Because I am in love with Nate!" And Nate's like, "At this lunch: Should we eat food? What foods do you eat? Will you tie my shoes for me?"
Uncle Goatee sliiiides on up to Chuck at the bar, giggling about the protestors' signs and how many sex puns you can make from the letters "Chuck Bass." He gives some glad-handing It's gonna be okay nonsense, and Chuck points out how, obviously, this is Jack's game. Jack protests that no, he's there to protect Chuck from Fake Mommy, who Jack himself saw in her casket when she died. "I get why you'd fall for all this, what with your mommy issues, all those abnormal attachments to your babysitters... Didn't help that I was nailing 'em, huh?" (WHOA!) He offers to swing by the dedication tonight and take a look at this supposed Evelyn, with whom he never got along anyway. "I've never seen a ghost before!" he chortles, and slimes away again.
In the next room, he slithers into B, who calls him a "bloodsucking reptile," which is not a thing, and a "lying ooze," which is awesome, and he says he can't take the credit for this little scheme, but that reservations are down twenty percent already. He kisses her hand, freezing her in midair -- "I've already had everything of Chuck's worth having," he smarms, and she shivers -- and takes off again. Chuck and Blair lock eyes in the lobby and it's really uncomfortable and sad. Her whole body is like an electrified puppet.