Chuck still smiles his Charlie smile when he sees his mother -- she gives him a purple tie for the party tonight, which Blair helped her out with. Elizabeth says purple was Bart's favorite color, and Chuck says actually he only wears it because Bart loathed it, and she recovers and says maybe this was just another mental game his dad played on him. (Nope, that makes no fucking sense at all, but nice try.) Chuck's sad, but tells him about Uncle Jack's arrival, and she says she is not at all interested in running into Jack -- wouldn't you know it, more sex attacks, which even for this show are coming fast and furious tonight -- and Charlie's sudden disappointment is a little too much for me to bear. But not Elizabeth, who is like, "That is not happening. No matter how many of the faces your face makes get made." Charlie's bummed, but invites her to stay and have a drink, since they can't spend the evening together.
Blair pulls her tights on and worries about Chuck, while Serena bumps herself up a notch or two by referencing Daily Intel. Blair's sure he'll work it out, and then answers Serena's phone long enough to tell Nate to fuck off for ruining Serena's insane plan -- which she thinks made total sense, giving Nate a great layup: "Yeah, because it's a Blair Waldorf Nut-Job Plan!" Nice. Nice! She tells him to apologize and puts him on speakerphone, but he thinks she means apologize in the future, so he continues to yell at her about how he did the right thing. "Serena may not get it, but losing her virginity is a huge deal for a girl like Jenny." Oh, DAMN. Serena picks up the phone and is like, "Because I was a huge slut at that age?" His only defense is the he didn't know he was on speakerphone. (!) More than Serena's plans, I love it when people say that shit to her, because she's totally in the right and can just lay waste.
"I've Had The Time Of My Life" is playing when Rufus walks in, and he remembers and loves Dirty Dancing as much as we all do, but she pretends that's so gay and she just thinks it's "okay," especially since Baby's dad is "an even bigger jerk" than Rufus. Which is dumb of her, but understandable, because honestly her parents are the best parts of -- and people in -- that movie, but I can see why you wouldn't really think that. For a long time, maybe ever. I always respected their viewpoints, because I usually liked the parents better in everything (My So-Called Life was just an ongoing attempt to ignore the whining teens long enough to see what Graham and Patty were up to), because I was born hugely judgmental and expected everybody to play by the rules all the time, so generally only the parents were saying the things I was thinking, because that's TV parents for you: A drag. Of course, on this show twenty years later, the parents are my favorites because they are the most retarded. So I guess I've grown, is what I'm saying.