Jenny approaches the Met group fearfully; Hazel welcomes her warmly and Blair gets aggressive, so Jenny tries to leave, but Hazel steps up. "No, stay. Blair, given you can barely manage your own messy affairs, surely you're not in a position to tell anyone where they can and can't eat." Blair asks if Hazel knows who she's talking to, if she gets the Waldorf thing: "You mean a self-righteous bitch who always sat on her own high horse judging everyone else?" says the blonde girl, and Hazel takes a step toward her: "Pregnant little hypocrite." Heh. All about the delivery. Blair informs them that she isn't pregnant, and the Army glares down: "Nate must be thrilled. Chuck, too." Blonde girl informs her about the big throwdown between Chuck and Nate, over Blair's "cheap ass," and she and Hazel point out that "the boyfriend and the best friend" is a pretty classy move. Free-fall. Hazel gets one last line in before they stalk away: "Consider yourself dethroned, Queen B." Jenny hovers, and Blair speaks very quietly and very intensely: "Jenny. It is highly unlikely that I will ever forgive you for going to Nate. But if you walk away from me now, I will also ruin you." That is easily five times closer to begging than Blair's ever done, with anybody but Serena, but Jenny's not getting it. Or is just a bitch, I'm willing to consider that. Brighten up the loft a bit, anyway. "How are you gonna do that?" she sniffs, in her ugly pink Bedazzled hat, and takes off. B is alone and very tiny, and the music is scary, and her headband is fucked-up-looking.
Rufus leaves a lame message on Bex's voicemail about how he's "new at this," and that's his whole excuse. "At forty-something years of age, it has occurred to me I'm not very good at doing normal things or behaving in an appropriate fashion, and the whole world is very new to me."
Dan's reading in the courtyard at school when Serena approaches -- still worried about Blair and her relationship with Blair, mind -- and asks if he told Jenny about the Chuck thing. He says no, but she points out that he's the only one she told. Dan gets very awful. "And I didn't tell anybody. ...I gave you my word. Because I love you. I love you, and not just because I thought you were pregnant, and not in the way you love some random guy who picks up your lit paper, or some girl who likes your hair." And yes, this is the hottest Dan has ever looked, and it's a nice little speech, but obviously right this second, it's not about him, so, like, what are you doing? He's making this huge stand that obviously makes Serena uncomfortable, and he's doing it for the fourth time, in the middle of a conversation about Blair's complete breakdown? That's just so Dan, I can't handle it. I cannot blame her at all for being like, "Okay?" But boy, Dan can. He spits how that response is "NOT OKAY," and stomps off crying and moaning and sucking. Meanwhile, Serena has actual drama happening.