Later, Blair and Nate are canoodling in the courtyard at Constance and he asks her to come with him to visit the Captain in rehab. "Yeah, it's just... It gets really awkward when I have to go alone now, and I don't know what to say anymore. He loves you, you always know how to make him laugh." Blair turns inside out with joy, both for the distraction and for the fact that Nate's finally asking her for something. The one thing he ever held strong on was keeping her, along with everybody else, out of the snakepit that is his family. I knew he kept her in the dark about most of it, but it just occurred to me to wonder how much even Chuck knows, at this point. "Here you are, officially leaning on me!" They nuzzle and kiss and talk about how perfect their relationship is going to be, now that they're on version 6.0 or whatever we're on. She's wearing this sweet black patent leather jacket that makes her next move -- kissing Nate with one eye on the creepily watching Chuck, who is wearing a preposterous hat -- even weirder and meaner. It's like she's kissing him in the Matrix or something, and meanwhile Chuck is freaking the hell out, and she's loving it.
Dan and Jenny arrive back home after school, or because it's the middle of the day, or because everybody got tired of walking back and forth between the courtyard and the Met and the library, or whatever it is that these kids do all day. He points out that at least now she knows. "Know what? That I've wasted half the year trying to be friends with someone that's never going to like me?" In a word, yes. Rufus appears on the scene trying to be smooth, and Dan tells him about the false alarm. Rufus tries to be cool, and then loses his cool in a major way, and it's way embarrassing to watch. Everybody laughs, because nobody knows that Serena's false alarm never happened and that this is all an elaborate mistake on the part of the UES. So Dan can be forgiven for turning the conversation back to himself, and how he said he loved her, but she thought that it was only because of the pregnancy scare. I like the drama mechanics here, because most of the characters still think there was an actual pregnancy scare, and are reacting like it's the end of the episode and not the beginning. Rufus takes this opportunity to suggest that Dan apply the brakes to his relationship with Serena, because he's only seventeen and whatever, and scoots.
Left alone, Jenny calls massive bullshit on the whole scenario Rufus just painted, where we're all relieved because his "I love you" doesn't count, even though it totally does, because he does love her, and he already knew that like five years ago, so what Rufus is suggesting is actually a totally idiotic move. Surprisingly enough. "Why are you taking his advice? He's old and alone." That is like the awesomest thing Jenny Humphrey ever said! Jenny explains that he needs to give it a hard reset and tell Serena again, without the distractions of biology or whatever, because it's the truth. Good call. Dan agrees, and there is a sweet moment between the two of them that lacks all the usual Humphrey grossness and sunshine. Live it up, though, because Dan is about to spend ten times that amount of goodwill getting this task done.