Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
I'm Secretly On Your Side

Serena arrives downstairs confronted by a pissed-off tableau encompassing Chuck and Nate posing together near the table and Maureen and Tripp striking Crazy-Eyed anger poses in the middle ground. She addresses everybody with her apology, because welcome to Serena World, where you're constantly apologizing to everybody for everything. She tells Maureen that she is a fuckup and is sorry for hurting her, when the last thing she wanted to do was hurt anybody, and she'll of course leave T-Bag alone after this, which makes Tripp sad and makes Chuck impressed and gives Nate a holiday boner.

Blair goes to find Serena, softest inside-voice cocked and ready to be a good and loving friend, and Serena is too sad to even notice that Blair has rapidly changed gears and is now her BFF again, so she's like Whaddaya want and Blair skips over the part where she was secretly on Serena's side all along, and cuts right to how Chuck told her about S's display of common decency and how hard that must have been for Serena and how comparatively impossible it would have been for Blair, who is more stubborn than S, but that actually this is all about Blair and how much she loves Serena, and then things get kind of lesbian. I never saw it until this scene but I think you girls are onto something.

Blair pretty much gives S a full rubdown before inviting her to Paris -- "Chuck can shop for sweaters with Harold and Roman, and we can wander Notre Dame and spend time, just the two of us, like we haven't for so long..." she says, like Anne Shirley and Diana Barry, like Playground Love Never Dies -- to get her out of the obviously still-gathering shitstorm that is about to explode all over Maureen and Tripp, and Serena giggles and chuckles and purrs and finally agrees to go with. Man, usually it's S making B feel amazing and magical with the love rays, but the reverse is even more amazing. Blair just loves the shit out of Serena van der Woodsen. That makes me so happy.

Lily is now drinking something clear, that is either vodka or "water" in Bart's office, which is now Rufus's sadsack failed-rocker den of boringness. We haven't seen him twanging and twiddling a guitar and handing out wisdom in a while, have we? He appears and Lily says the funniest line of the episode: "...Oh. I'm sorry I missed Thanksgiving." He immediately asks why Lily stayed in at CeCe's all through the fall instead of coming home to him, and Lily obviously and totally lies in the most amazing, chilling way: "My mother and I were finally connecting. I think, faced with her illness, she became a different person. She was loving and kind..." CeCe, who doesn't even have a vestigial ability to be those things, appears in the doorway with a tumbler of gin and waits to see how bullshitty Lily can get. I want to see CeCe and Carter Baizen team up again. I want to see Carter Baizen team up with anybody. I want to see Carter Baizen. I want to see Carter Baizen: The Movie. I am secretly on Carter's side.

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Gossip Girl




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