Gossip Girl

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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I'm Secretly On Your Side

"I wanted to stay and enjoy this person for as long as I could." Rufus, eating this up of course because it's exactly the kind of saccharine Believe In The Stars nonsense he believes and has passed onto his children (although to be fair it's also the same nonsense that kept him loving Lily for twenty years no matter how many Clauses and Klauses she married, and that's pretty wonderful about him), takes her hand and assures her she could have just told the truth. Heh. "I know, and I should have, but I... I knew it was selfish, leaving you here, in charge of the kids and everything. And so I lied. And then I just continued to lie, to cover it up." Just like I'm lying right now! Yo dawg I heard you like being oblivious so I put some lies in my lies so you can be an idiot while you're being an idiot. Maybe Dorota's baby will have another baby inside of it, and a baby inside of that, and inside of that another baby -- as many levels of baby as there are of Lily's lies.

CeCe floats into the room, holding in her belly laugh as only a gin-soaked WASP can, and goes, "So that's it, then? You love me so much you couldn't let me go?" She puts one hand on Lily's shoulder -- this is another excellently done scene -- and thus signals the fact that this just went from being a sting operation to a snow job, she's not going to call Lily out or put her on blast and all that drinking and nervous scowling was for naught, so Lily flips right into a Rhodes Women act they could have been practicing forever, wrinkling her nose adorably and fakely and complaining that CeCe wasn't supposed to hear that part, and looking to Rufus for support in her embarrassment, and CeCe also flanks Rufus, saying that now she has a witness of her daughter's love for her, and the whole thing is this elaborately choreographed lie/routine that they just made up on the spot, and the whole time Lily's checking out Rufus's face to see if he's buying their concerted bullshit... (If you still have access to this episode, check this scene out. It's like a horror movie, it's so great. They are like magical witches here; I honestly feel like we just learned about a full third of their relationship we never even knew about before.) And then just like that, Rufus is like, "Cool, I'm going to go clear the table!" And bounces out of there with his stupid tail wagging away.

Lily thanks her mom, who sits and notes that obviously she didn't tell Rufus about her "little trip" this summer -- Which, what could that even mean? Something to do with Carmen Sandiego? They did make a big point of Serena's latest post-Santorini trip with Carter being at the same time Lily was still gone, didn't they? What if Lily somehow forced Keith to ignore Serena and all that crazy was actually Lily's fault? Which it already always is? And why can't we have Carter Baizen every week anyway? And when is Blair going to go crazy already? And did Dorota and Vanya kill Georgina Sparks or what? And did they conceive the baby-full-of-babies that very night? And please, did Georgina really just have Poppy Lifton deported, or did she kill her and eat of her flesh? And how are we supposed to live until March with no Gossip Girl? -- and CeCe tells her that, as usual, some secrets can't stay hidden, but they both kind of agree this one would be better as a secret for good. Because for all the bitching and accusations, and the occasional hostile buyout and faked not-fake cancer, hasn't CeCe always been secretly on Lily's side, and in the last year proven to secretly be on Rufus's side too?

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Gossip Girl

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