The whole time Gossip Girl is cackling about how on the UES, instead of maize and syphilis what we're serving up these days is a "bountiful harvest of secrets, lies and scandal." She's so manic this whole episode about how WTF and OMG everything is, but for once she's right. It is totally fucking amazing. There are parts of this episode where I started crying of joy.
Serena is just leaving Congressman van der Bilt a note about the note she left him, wearing a crazy twisted ivory weirdo Lily Bass shirt, nothing to see here, until the thousand eyes and ears of his campaign are gone, and then she's like, "Have you left your wife yet?" Tripp says he did, but I can't remember if he's lying or not, because he leaves Maureen a thousand times in this episode and every time he does so the little plastic castle in Serena's fishtank brain comes as a total surprise. So I guess they're going to publicly divorce because of Hudson Hero but really because of Serena. So Serena goes, "Just tell me it's not because of me," and he duly obliges, even though they both know it's not true, and thusly she is satisfied.
(Because if you for one second start thinking Serena is gullible or being a sucker about any of this, you need to go back to Serena 101 and start thinking about how to hack your life using her handy tips, because girlfriend is a total player of the highest degree. She is a cyclone and Tripp is a trailer park, and if you honestly believe otherwise that's exactly how she's gonna get you, because nobody ever sees her coming. Including her. You only realize the power of Serena once you have been utterly destroyed, which is the power of Serena.)
Serena notes that he's still "married" so they "can't fuck" but he says he doesn't want -- as she once again conspires to barely make it past his congressional boner in an office that is really just not that small -- to be alone during the holidays. Because family means everything. So she's like, "I figured you would say that, so I already lied to my family about some soup kitchen bullshit nobody would ever believe so we can 'chastely' hang out in my hotel room at the Empire and 'not fuck'." For good measure she gets right up in his pheromone detection zone and almost-almost-almost kisses him and then tosses her hair winsomely and goes off to drive some other elected official to distraction.
Chuck can't even believe that Blair hasn't obsessively whined and moaned about Serena for the new record of fifteen hours, and Blair points out that she's been asleep most of that time. And no doubt dreaming about whining and moaning about Serena, starring as Mag Wildwood, feeding endless Congressmen to endless yaks. Besides, Blair can't deal with her S issues because she's got Eleanor issues, because Mommy Fearest is flying in from Paris to get her for the holidays, which is clearly a ruse: "She has some bomb she wants to drop on me in a controlled environment, surrounded by air marshals and French people!"