I feel like there's something to this that I'm not getting, because that was fucked up but the actress was adorable and loving when she did it, so that means at least three people signed off that behavior for some reason that I cannot fathom. Dan scurries off to get more ice even though that is shockingly uncool and tacky -- not to mention super weird, given what's about to happen -- and then Cyrus appears at the end of a handspring step out roundoff back handspring step out roundoff back handspring full-twisting layout, "papers" in hand.

Papers for what? Oh, the entire apartment in Queens that he just bought for Vanya and Dorota. People he doesn't know. Employees of his household. Eleanor tries to explain how grotesquely over the line that is, and he screams w/r/t a Vera Wang cake knife: "Not enough!" Which I agree that a more important gift is called for, but not an entire apartment. It's just creepy. Eleanor points out that Dorota lives in a UES penthouse, which is better than an apartment in Queens, and Cyrus screams so high and so loud that I don't even know what his comeback is for that. Something to do with the baby -- or many babies, from the looks of things -- inside her body. "She's just a maid, for goodness sake," Eleanor laughs, and then fuckin' Cyrus goes, "She practically raised Blair!"

Which first, I would divorce you so fucking quick you'd bruise your gnome ass. And second of all, if that were true Blair would not be so fucked up, and third of all, Dorota is at most fifteen years Blair's senior. So somehow this episode is so clueless and condescending that we've taken the long way around and the only person talking any sense at all, Eleanor, is going to have to learn a lesson about family values and how our employees are family? Barf. Demonstrably not true. You pay her to perform a service. She's a person, with a job -- and with a life and friends you don't even know about. "Just like family" is an epithet we use to talk about insincere racists, not a fucking moral to a story: Dorota HAS a family.

Maybe it's the "transom" thing again, maybe we read Flannery O'Connor and never really understood Flannery O'Connor. But the idea that Blair keeps Dorota in her dorm room was funny because it was ludicrous, and what this little story does is actually legitimize that, as a non-ludicrous thing: Eleanor now needs to realize that Dorota is their pet Polish person, and therefore her responsibility. Which contextualizes the entire concept of service -- and this is the part that grosses me out -- as really demeaning, because it means we need to apologize to our employees for their jobs.