"I should have realized that something was still wrong with you and Mr. Chuck," Dorota apologizes, "But it was my fucking wedding, you shitty little girl!" Just kidding, she goes: "But you always tell me everything!" Apologizing, now, for her inability to read the mind of a person who is clearly mentally ill. While her wedding stands around feeling like jackasses. "I couldn't admit it to anyone," B admits tearfully. "I could barely admit it to myself." Well, isn't that a pointless overdramatization of a crisis you created yourselves, I can see why you'd stop my wedding to tell me about your problems admitting whatever it was that you couldn't admit to yourself, even though you only decided to get back together with Chuck just before the last commercial break, and thus had no time to suppress this information, from yourself or other people. Blair asks if Vanya hates her for ruining the fucking wedding for no reason whatsoever, and Dorota seriously goes:

"No. Miss Blair, I came to America to start new life. To make new traditions. And lucky for me, I find great people to do this with. I find my family."

So... Your new tradition is to get your wedding fucked up by a spoiled brat with mental problems? Because before you were worrying about Polish City Hall. Oh, and Blair is "family," but the kind that pay you and your boyfriend to murder Bible Camp grafters.

"When I saw how happy you and Vanya are, I realized how unhappy I am." And I decided to destroy it. Mission accomplished! "I wish you to be like me one day. To find right love, good love. I don't need you to be happy couple, Miss Blair. I just need you to be happy." I just need you to both shut up. You've managed to create an Eastern European domestic that makes that old bitch from Sex & The City seem like a progressive, fresh character. So, somehow watching from the doorway as Dorota selflessly talks Blair through meltdown #14,456, Eleanor is overcome with emotion and realizes that Dorota is family. Or whatever.

Serena takes a giant step backwards to the beginning of the season, invalidating everything that has happened all season, literally, and turning back into the girl from the first episode, all, "I'm gonna make him see me!" She and Carter take off for Palm Springs to repeat Whatever Happened in Santorini, like anybody cares at this point, and Jenny of course sees them bounce, and goes upstairs to immediately rat on S as soon as the wedding is over, but first she gets to leer and blush at the appearance of Elliott, who is at the wedding -- get this -- because he and Dorota are best friends. Yeah, they met on the elevator on Friday and both really love The Vampire Diaries. For real, that's how we get him on the scene. So Jenny's eyes light up like, "BUT DO YOU LIKE BOYS?"