Gossip Girl

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Magnets: How They Work

Jenny, looking for something beautiful to destroy, is making little cuts on her leg and watching the boys dance together, but then Nate's phone rings. Perfect. She answers the phone, teeth gritting so hard they're turning into diamonds, and promises to make sure Nate knows S called, that he needs to call her back, and she loves him, and no more secrets. Jenny's like, "I will be telling him zero of those things, and by the way I already told him you left town with Carter Baizen, and you're a bitch." Serena's like, "Thanks! You're the best sister ever."

There's a thumping montage of Nate slow-dancing with Jenny, with his hair looking worse than it has all episode. Elliott dances like nothing I've ever seen, although "simple" and "pure" might cover it. Eric is right there with him. Dorota and Vanya slow dance, and the Waldorf-Roses clink vodka shots with Dan and Blair, because I guess he's family too, since he was once a cater-waiter and since his horrible girlfriend is in Vermont so he's now decided to be best friends with their wedding-ruiner daughter out of literally nowhere.

And meanwhile, Serena is already in Palm Springs, and guess who's standing behind Dr. vdDub's hotel room door? Lily, of course. Why would she be anywhere but hiding in her ex-husband's hotel room like usual?

Next week: Pray it gets better. I really won't be doing much more of this. XOXO.

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Gossip Girl

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