Rufus and Lily head into a Brooklyn coffee shop, Lily protesting that she'll be thrown down and tattooed, and he laughs: "This is Brooklyn, not the Warped Tour." He chuckles that she has several tattoos of her own, including a heart-shaped one between her... "Don't be cute," she interrupts. He whines that in fact he's "better-looking every day," which is simply not true. He looked much hotter on Friday, and a bit less through Saturday. At this rate he'll be hideous by Christmas. Rufus presses her once again as to why she's reestablished communications after years of bourgie quietude, and Lily explains that Dan is in her hotel lobby. Rufus orders Lily's coffee for her without blinking, and she's touched that he remembers. She's also a hoss: Americano with an extra shot? That tastes like the Devil's own butthole. Lily's my hero! She jokes around about how she's so intensely into Rufus, what with his low-income tax bracket, bad v-neck t-shirts, and awful jokes. Before she can even get to the gaywad leather choker, she interrupts herself to ask/blurt, "Why would your wife leave?" Bad form, Lily. That's just tacky. She keeps going for his jugular. Maybe she's aiming for the choker. "She has better taste than you," is his counter quarte parry, and it's not bad. He repeats the question, and rather than repeating the obvious answer, his son, again, she just sighs. "An unfortunate twist of fate." He asks if she's seeing anybody, and she won't answer. "No, not serious? Or married." She tells him that's quite enough, and he tries again: "Forbes or Rolling Stone?" Silence. He agrees to leave her alone, and she sums up that Dan is not the right kind of influence for Serena right now, because he is poor and...I guess because he's Rufus's son. Rufus responds with a clear-eyed, compelling honesty, that actually Dan is probably exactly what Serena needs. Aww. Now just set Dan up with some nuts and everybody will be square.