S chases D out into the hotel square, apologizing for the characteristically horrific behavior of Blair and Chuck, but Dan wants to be clear: "It's not just them." She knows what he means, and admits that the UES world is crazy and weird, but he's like, "See, but you're a part of it." She points out that this is not news, but he whines that he thought she was different, even though she's from the Hills and he's from Reseda, but she's on top of it. "Um, sorry I'm not who you thought I was, but on the other hand, all of that stuff is in the past, and all I can do is try to change. And if you can't accept that, then you are a bigger asshat than I am." She's right, but frankly, I would go further with it, because out of all of them, this actually makes Dan look the worst, because he's pissed that she's not imaginary. Boys are so gross. Like, "I just thought that she grew up in this environment and appeared to be one way her whole life, but in fact there was this secret real her that was being saved just for me, that came out of nowhere and has no basis in reality, that could allow her to be in this world but not of it, all form but also all content, which means I would get to date the popular, pretty girl but not have to deal with one iota of the bullshit that goes along with that. It was the perfect solution, and you ruined it! By existing!" I mean, honestly I think he's just as freaked out about the creepy, nasty world itself, and how he will never fit into it and she will never be able to escape it, so where does that leave them, but mostly it's like, Serena has the right to exist, and Dan can take it or leave it, but he's not allowed to spit on it, which is what he's doing. Which is fine, because he's not good enough for her anyway. You know who's good enough for him? I can't wait until you meet fuckin' Vanessa. Oh, and this whole conversation is delivered in classic soap opera style, where they're both facing toward the camera and talking into space, which I always love. Serena's very broken up about all this -- because she's doing the same shit, thinking she can redeem herself through lowering herself to Dan's level, which is just as twisted -- but her exit line is far, far better: "I guess we both made mistakes." He turns and watches her head back into the Palace, and just before she turns, expecting him to be there, he takes off. He almost was. Bummer. It's well-executed and I like that nobody gives up too much ground there. But also: GOOD! TAKE YOUR BROKE ASS HOME!
Episode Report CardJacob Clifton: A+ | 1245 USERS: B-
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