Chuck's dad steers him away, noting that the dress code for this particular event is "black tie, not black eye," which is clever, but...not at all true, looking around the room, so whatever, Bart Bass. He calls Chuck "Charles," which is interesting given the whole territorial pissing thing Chuck always does to the names of his fellow boys. Is he being ironic, or is he trying to position himself ahead of his class maturity-wise because he's so intimidated by his father, which is why his sexual antics are so over-the-top? I mean, if Chuck raped a tree in the woods, and nobody was around to see it or hear about it, would he actually follow through with it? Is he, in fact, the biggest gossip girl of all? I say yes.
"Are you in some kind of trouble?" Chuck admits that he is, but "only of [his] own making." Good of him to recognize. Or is he bragging. Mr. Bass asks rhetorically why Chuck thinks he does all this socialite shit: "For you. So you can meet people, become a part of something, make a change." Stop with the raping. Chuck sneers. "Really? I thought it was an excuse for an open bar," not to mention the statue ladies. Speaking of, Bart Bass says, how about you lose the scotch: "It's barely noon." But if you can't get drunk at brunch, then...what is brunch?
Out in the hall, Serena begs Nate to shut up and listen, because why the hell did he tell Blair? He stutters, and an old society biddie comes busting through, so he protests that they can't talk there. "Why, because Blair might see us?" Characteristically, Nate hands Serena the key to Chuck's suite. "I'm not sneaking around with you!" Serena coughs, but eventually she gives in. Nate is like this immovable object that eyebrows at you until you give in. "Fine. Ten minutes." Ten minutes 'til you get punk'd, then. Obviously.
Blair's charming the hell out of Nate's dad, telling him how Eleanor's in Paris today, due to some kind of drama at the atelier. Eleanor is one busy bitch: Friday she's both partying and at her country house, Saturday she's bugging the shit out of Blair, and now on Sunday: Paris. I want to live the fashion lifestyle. Nate Sr., by way of reminding us that Nate is his child whore, comments on Eleanor's career: "She's really going places!" Without thinking, Blair gets very Summer Roberts for a sec: "Hopefully places far far away, ha!" Nate Sr. does not laugh. Silence is his only retort. She's like, "Kidding?" Nate arrives to save her, and escorting his father away has to endure more of this shit: "You're taking care of business, as discussed..." Nate weakly protests that not everything is a business deal, and his dad snorts. "Talk to me in thirty years." He drags Nate over to some guy who has some company where they have some internships or something.