Gossip Girl
The Wild Brunch

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Take Your Broke Ass Home!

Jenny: "Weird, or whatever." He heads out, still ruminating on the carelessness that shadows men's souls, but he takes a moment to admire Jenny's flowers from the Farmer's Market: they're hydrangeas, just barely beginning to bloom.

Nate, lying chastely beside Blair, staring at her back, tells her that she needs to get over it, or break up. I agree, but then I want them to stay together, and I don't think he does. He touches her shoulder and she squeezes his hand, with her eyes closed, as another Bravery song (yay!) starts playing. Over in Williamsburg, Dan's squatting around all moodily on the fire escape, and Gossip Girl gives us a couple more for the road: "S's mystery man is a mystery no longer! His name is...oh, who cares. Now that he and S are over, so are his fifteen minutes." Inside, Jenny models her blue Sears dress for herself, with the flowers in a vase beside the mirror. "But his sister J was spotted wearing a new dress, gifted from B herself. An Eleanor Waldorf original is the uniform of B's private army. But will J be a loyal soldier, or side with S's rebel forces?" I stumped for this assignment hardcore all summer because I love this, I love it when you talk in war metaphors with teenage girls, because...teenage girls invented war. My friend Karen has a t-shirt that says "I Survived Eighth Grade." Serena walks down the road in slo-mo, having left brunch, per Gossip Girl, with "no friends, no boy, and nowhere to run." Chuck stares smokily into space, in bed with a statue lady. One by one, Serena erases the pictures from her phone: herself and Blair, the three of them, staring at Chuck who's just done something heinous. Jenny puts her hair up, turns to the side, like a statue come to life; Blair holds onto Nate's hand like she's drowning. "The ultimate insider has become a total outsider. Your move, S. And you know who'll be watching..." Serena pitches her phone into the trash and keeps walking, and the crane pulls back until she's lost in the crowd.

Next week: Catfights at field hockey like Freaky Friday, Chuck in some more three-ways; possibly D-Day. Please, please stay this awesome, Gossip Girl. You know we love you.

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Gossip Girl

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