Gossip Girl

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Serena to the Infinite Power

Dorota and Blair swoon, separately and together, because that restaurant Blair and Chuck were talking about earlier has now come to them, by special request of Chuck Bass. All the luxurious food of whatever restaurant and wizened leprechaun that runs it, in the comfort of the Blair/Serena palace. Dorota, sigh. Okay. Dorota has been schlepping this romance novel around all day but it wasn't really interesting until now: "So romantic! Like in book when time traveler send sign of true love from future, and princess needs to get to grand ball where he is waiting. And if she too late, rift in time-space continuum close up forever!"

Yes, it's exactly like that. You halfwit. But it's enough that Blair, um, suddenly rips off her dress -- revealing a truly beautiful scarlet chemise underneath -- and heads off to the ball at the Empire, because love or not love, this time-space continuum is on a shaky foundation. "Tell Anne and the board that I've been delayed. And unless you want to raise Ana in Poland, don't let them leave before I get back." And because Dorota is slow and useful, she gets to explain where she's going, with a sweet smile and kiss on the cheek: "Straight to hell, with all the other sinners."

So I guess she's going to attend the party and then travel back in time to meet with Anne and the G.I.R.L.S., because what seemed to be many meetings with Anne have collapsed into one big board-meeting dinner with Anne. Okay, got it. So now she's choosing to do both, somehow, which means running over to the Empire in her underwear, possibly telling Chuck that she loves him too, and then coming back here to put some clothes on and apologize for being late to her own house, and interact with them in a casual way. Cool.

Serena gets back to her house from PRADA -- with, remember, no idea about the Nate Date or the Dan Date or the Man Date -- to find Nate and Dan furiously waiting once again on her steps. "We are breaking up with you!" they ultimatum, and "Unless you pick one of us!" they unultimatum, and then "By midnight!" they ultimatum again. She's just like, "Not knowing anything about your bullshit angst or weird tip-touching man-games, mostly I find you both irritating right now. Plus I have to think of a way to prove to my mom I'm not terrible. Again. And that's an errand, Humphrey, I must assuredly do not need your help with." They think they won, S could give a shit about it, she heads upstairs, they run off to the nearest brownstone vestibule in a casual way.

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Gossip Girl

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