Gossip Girl

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Serena to the Infinite Power

It's very sweet and well-acted, this conversation. They won't give up or give in, exactly, but not for their usual stuff: Just because it's very dicey and they don't want to hurt each other any more than they want to get hurt. So Blair fills in all the blanks about boys just say whatever, and he's like, "Do you want me to have meant them?" And she says the best thing, with the wryest smile: "If they were true, I would want to know." But he just looks at her for awhile, because that's hardly giving in the way he needs her to give in, and finally her face falls and she's like, "Well, fuck."

Which is giving in. So before she can take off, he's like, "Duh, I totally love you. And the fuck you didn't say it back?" So she does, and they get very excited about each other, so they have to pull it back. On the one hand, Anne's not the only person who is going to think it's majorly weak, and gross, for Blair to take Chuck back. And on the other hand, there's no way for him to be Man Whore Chuck Bass and also be with her, because Blair's not that kind of girlfriend. So they're like, "Okay, actually, we'll sacrifice everything to be together." Yes they do! And then Serena calls their bluff and pulls the curtains down -- for the third time at least, note, Jenny pulls the curtains on these two -- and everybody looks up at them. Not even kissing, just standing there. Which causes Blair to yell at Serena, but isn't really a problem, just a weird shitty thing she did.

Serena the spotlights on B and Chuck while Serena stares up at them -- along with Anne and the G.I.R.L.S., who are wearing pervert trenchcoats -- and then Chuck goes, "What say we go up in flames together?" and he kisses her, and it's so great. But downstairs, GG sends out a whole blast with matching pictures of Serenas kissing Dan and Nate, and Dan and Nate put their arms around each other and Care Bear Stare at Serena for like a million years and Juliet grins evilly, and Serena... Your head would explode, right?

Even for me, this is odd. I walked over there, and then the guy was weird, but they got me in, and then Chuck and Blair were kissing, and now it's now. What am I forgetting? Why am I always kissing people? Maybe this hasn't happened yet. No, but Gossip Girl only goes forward, she's not like me. Or taxicabs. Linear time, how does it work. So I guess this is really happening. But why would I do that? It's certainly what I would like to do, have them both, but I still have to be in one place at one time. Well, one thing's for sure: Dan is going to bitch at me forever. I better go find myselves, because Lily's already going to be pissed that I bought one Herrera for this party, much less three.

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Gossip Girl

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