Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Serena to the Infinite Power

"When are you gonna give it up? I don't want everything that you want." Blair puts it all together, rapidly, and delivers the killing blow: "So Anne, Nate, and Dan are all liars? That's a lot of people to blame, even for you."

Wooooow. Just walk away. But no, B tells her she is morally bankrupt and S is like, "I guess I am then!" and cries about B betraying her and B cries right back about the betrayal and hateration and S finally bounces. Right into Eric, who tries to take care of her and explain that Lily and the rest of them, and their poor opinion of Serena tonight, are not the problem and not a perspective that he shares. But considering it's everybody she knows and both boys she likes and her best friend, I don't think it's past the point of forgiveness that she goes, "You're my little brother. You're not enough." I mean, I can understand why it would hurt his feelings, and it does, but she's not wrong. Get Into your Realistic Limitations, Serena. (Inc.)

Still steaming, B heads over to protect Chuck from KC, but it turns out this party is so incredibly decadent and such a drug-fueled fuckfest that the "big romantic gesture" somehow switched up on them and showed that "the hedonist has a heart." KC wants her to do personal appearances, "Chuck Bass's Girlfriend at store openings, fashion shows, that kind of thing," and so apparently Blair adds the perfect balance to his PR and it works out great for him... But not for her. Blair feels bad, bad, bad and Anne was right, right, right, because no matter how many times you squint your eyes and stomp your feet, the actual world you live in is a lot more important than the perfect world you wish you lived in.

Serena puts on her mask to leave the party and collapses against a post and Serena appears in her cloak and puts Serena in a car, head lolling, drooling on her Carolina Herrera, woozy after going from being so many people at once to just one very roofied girl, now trapped in her quantum archenemy: The New York Taxicab. Juliet hops in the other side and they ride off directly into some kind of hell we never imagined.

Chuck offers Blair the Fleur deal, five mil for a foundation of anything at all, the Anne Archibald Sucks Cock Foundation, the Audrey Hepburn Memorial Militia, whatever, but B is throwed. "As long as I'm with you I'm Hillary in the White House, and I want to be Hillary, Secretary of State. But with better hair." So figure something out and work together, because guess what sexism isn't changing and we can do that, but B wants to make the choice between her head and her heart.

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Gossip Girl




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