Gossip Girl

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Serena to the Infinite Power

"Look at Brad and Angelina, they takes turns on top," he says, and she points out that Angelina won her Oscar first, so they discuss breaking up so she can go be empowered, even though they love each other very much, and it's sort of sweet for being so nuts: "I have to be Blair Waldorf before I can be Chuck Bass's Girlfriend." They don't kiss but it's neat and then she's gone.

Jenny can't find Juliet, so she finally runs out in her cloak to meet Mavis, but Juliet's long gone: Ignoring Jenny's calls and Mavis's texts, texting the Dean (?) Serena's official resignation from Columbia (??) and then taking her to some prison den where she can tie her up and let her sleep off the drugs she gave her before giving her more drugs and eventually putting a block of wood between her ankles and picking up a big old sledgehammer and really getting to know her.

Dan and Nate go home to mutually masturbate, the Dean calls Lily to tell her that Serena has gone crazytown again, and then Lily tells Eric who has just come home, and Eric goes, "Alienate everybody, drop out of school, run away? Sounds like Serena!" And then Lily gives up on her daughter, again, for no real reason, and somewhere poor Serena is sleeping in Juliet's bed or something and the neatest scary thing happens where it's been getting rainier and rainier the whole episode and finally you're looking at Serena through this rainy window and then it goes BOOM and you're looking at the rainy window, it clicks suddenly into focus like the credits for Damages, and you can't even really see her anymore and she's just faded out, less even than one total Serena, just gone.

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Gossip Girl

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