Gossip Girl

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Serena to the Infinite Power

Serena suggests adding polyandry to the agenda for Guys In Real-Life Slavery, Inc., and we move on in a casual way: "But seriously, B! What am I supposed to do?" She explains about the whole E'sHarmony thing, and B shakes her head wisely. "Lists are for kids. Dilemmas like these require a meditative state. I find mine by watching Dorota feed the ducks. You can borrow her as long as she's back by dinner."

Serena chooses "the Zen of shopping" and somehow they agree that in finding the perfect dress, Serena will figure out the perfect guy. That's an actual plotpoint in this episode. So then S calls her sensei and takes off to find her Black & White Ball outfit, and a boyfriend, and reminds B once again that she's got something to lose unless she's very smart about this Chuck situation. Which is classically Serena: Not really picking a side, just biting the inside of her mouth and hoping people will be dazzled by her enough that they mistake it for an actual answer.

The board of The Bromance Of Yesterday's Serena, Inc., has a little meaning about their ridiculous plan: Dan will text S about his perfect Dan Date, and Nate will text S about the perfect Nate Date, and then whoever wins they will go on a Man Date and she will never come between them again. Dan Date equals, Nate presumes, "One of those weird movies that doesn't make sense even when you read the subtitles," while Dan assumes that Nate Date involves watching him play lacrosse. They are both right. But then Dan also says he wants to take her to some place that's full of poor people or something, and Nate wants to take her to Per Se post-lacrosse so she can hear the gossips gossiping about how perfect they've always been for each other. Because this week is all about overscheduling, one or all of these sixteen things will take place before the Black & White Ball. Workable.

Except, of course, for the SIM card nonsense. So now the Witches have received both those texts and Jenny has decided that Phone Serena will turn them both down eventually, after dicking around with them. Because this episode doesn't have enough moving parts, we're also foreshadowed by these apparently endless texts Blair has been sending -- ever since a second ago when Serena left the apartment -- about please not validating her insane paranoia by going after Anne Archibald's foundation? Not that they've had plenty of opportunity to discuss this point onscreen, given how it's one of the major turning points of this episode and yet has just been slipped into this scene carelessly so that later we'll believe that the unbreakable bond has been broken.

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Gossip Girl

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