Gossip Girl

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Serena to the Infinite Power

So while Serena has not yet even reached the store she's heading, is probably dropping by PRADA to pick up the boys because gays and shopping, there's been enough time to send all these texts and welcome Chuck over to discuss the other fifty things. Blair, who finds KC "personally abhorrent," agrees about the Black & White Ball being not decadent enough. Blair dresses Chuck for some meeting or another, and it's hot, and they talk about maybe doing a Saints & Sinners Masquerade, just like the first time Nate kissed Jenny thinking that Serena had become shrunken. That way, and this is smart, he can have his big dirty sex party like KC wants, and B will have ammunition to denounce Chuck to Anne and -- apparently -- at a tasteful dinner, the whole board. Which means, I believe, that each of them will be having dinner four times tonight. If I'm counting correctly.

Chuck sends a text to KC about changing the entire theme of his party, and GG, at the same time, and they say the following sexy things: "There is something alluring about an angel drawn to the dark side, "Or a devil redeemed," "A masquerade, where inhibitions can't help but break free," and like that. Finally they jump in bed and start moaning about what clothes she's going to wear, and it's so amazing. "My black Balenciaga would be perfect to publicly condemn you!" Chuck goes, "I love public!" Brownstone vestibules, they are for loving. "I love condemnation!" she squeals. "I love you!" Chuck says, and the record screeches to a halt for a second in a casual way.

They both get very nervous about that for a second and then she figures what the hey and goes, "No one does black like Dior!" And that gets them going again. Which, I love this whole idea for a story, the blurted three words, but we've spent a lot of time working up the whole KC/Anne reputation story, and while it twists things in a great way, I sort of feel like the I Love You thing could have had its own episode. But no, they'd still have to warp it all up with some kind of party deal so I guess it's just the amount of brain energy I've already put into figuring out what the fuck they are actually doing today that makes it seem so complicated.

Juliet wonders why Lily has her there for tea, what with the constant public humiliations Lily and her children keep visiting on her and the retaliations that earn them, but Lily puts all the "clues" together and tells her to stop being mean to Serena for no reason. "I guess that's the thing when you're not born with a silver spoon in your mouth: You wanna eat, you have to work." Lily goes, "Oh, ya hungry, bitch?" and then forcefeeds her a scone through the nostrils in a casual way.

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Gossip Girl

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