Serena's none too happy calling Blair to tell her the plan's off, but her bummed-out resentment is nothing to the aghast horror that greets her. "What? No. Do you know how much work this exorcism was? It's going to take days for Dorota to reorganize my closet!" Serena says they're letting Lily take the reins, and leaving Poppy out of it, but B's got a good point: "Poppy is it? She's so evil she makes the Old Georgina look like the New Georgina!" Lily summons Serena offscreen, and Blair puts up just enough of a fight that you know she's going to acquiesce... And keep working on the plan just in case.

And in the living room, OMG there's Poppy. Drinking tea with Lily: "Poppy came by to see how we were doing after all the terrible drama this morning!" Poppy pushes her mean girl advantage: "I mean, the money part was bad, but I just felt like such an idiot. I thought he loved me... Obviously you understand that." Enjoying it. Serena gets stronger, even as Lily arches an eyebrow and meaningfully relates that Poppy's off to Miami tonight, to feel like a fool while getting a tan. Serena alerts her to nonexistent aperitif in her teeth, and sits down with her mother.

"What are you doing having tea and smiling at her? We should lock the doors and call the police!" Lily's about 99% right that they should just let her go, but S comes up with the 1% that wins: "She's not disappearing, she's going to Miami. Where she's going to do the exact same thing to new people." Lily hopes vaguely that the people in Miami will be smarter than Poppy's trickery, and Serena is horrified. Because that's horrifying. Meanwhile, Dan gets a call from I guess Bruce about Rufus's incoming dividends -- from the investment he never actually made -- rolling in in about six weeks. The ding! you're hearing is not Dan figuring out what's going on: it's just Serena getting off yet another elevator.