Gossip Girl

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Perfect From Now On
cene and outside of it. What it feels like is what it looks like, which is what it is: You're looking at a highwire act, over a circus, in the middle of a crowded city street.

Pick apart the pieces of your heart and let me peer inside
Let me in, where only your thoughts have been
Let me occupy your mind
As you do mine

Blair: "Nate's waiting for me to give him an answer." Chuck assents; gives nothing. "Don't you want to know what's stopping me? I can't answer his question while I'm waiting for you to answer mine. The one I asked you forever ago: What are we, Chuck?" He gives nothing/his heart is breaking: "Blair..." She looks down, deep, trying to pierce it, to figure it out. The blunt instrument, the holy light that is Blair Waldorf, peering in. She wants to devour, to annihilate him. And he wants it. Say the word.

"Last fall you said we couldn't be together. And I believed you. But every time I try to move on, you're right there, acting like..." He cocks his head. Acting? What acting? Surviving. Managing to live.

"Acting like what?" He eyes, hurting so much. Knowing what she'll say: "Maybe you just want me to be as unhappy as you are." His face twists, sickened and afraid. He wants to annihilate her, and she wants him to annihilate her. Say the word. "I would never wish that on anyone," he says, and they nearly drop their heads in silence. "I want you to be happy," he swears; it rips across him. She sees stars.

"Then look down deep, into the soul I know you have, and tell me if what you feel for me is real, or if it's just a game." She breaks the rules of love. Happiness is not their strong suit, and he knows it binds them together: ruin her plan and she'll come running. But Cyrus Rose and Georgina Sparks, the defeat of Gabriel Edwards and the pursuit of Poppy Lifton, have given her new hope. Sickly hope he can't share. She looks into his eyes, like a gloved hand at the curbside: "If it's real... We'll figure it out. All of us," she says, smiling. She doesn't even know Nate's given his tacit consent: We will learn, we will stay a family. Love that costs you nothing. Love that is not earned or striven for, can he even imagine it? All the love in the world and more, a family as big as the Ritz, more love than he could ever exhaust, and the Cyrus Rose in her saying, "Not enough! Not enough!" Never enough. Never enough, to pay the debt he's owed.

If this is the conversation, if the burlesque is winding down, is it possible to be honest enough? Tears well up in her eyes. And his. "But if it's not... Then please, Chuck. Just let me go." She nods, smiling, loving him too as a friend, giving him his room. What lies beyond love that costs nothing? Love that remains, after love is gone. We will stay a family. I see signs now, all the time, that you're not dead: you're sleeping. I'll believe in anything that brings you back home to me. There's no risk here, just acceptance. Just the request for an answer. She smiles at him, lovingly, tears dropping, willing him on. Giving him strength. His sister enters and Blair acknowledges her in the nod, begging him to come out. It looks like he's losing his religion. Blair has met her match in the battle for Chuck's soul, and it has nothing to do with her.

Behind him, Serena urges her on. Enough honesty, Eric always says, enough light and you can be strong enough for anything. Enough love. Look down deep. Has she taken off enough? Is this enough? He's Eustace and she's the lion, tearing at her own skin. Once the game was words: say I love you, and I'm yours. We're past that point now. No more telling, only showing.

You don't get burned because nothing gets through
It makes it easier on you
But that much more difficult for me to make you see

After a long silence she nods once more, searching his face, and he smiles.

I'm desperate to connect
And you can't live like this

"...It's just a game." S listening, feeling awful. "I hate to lose. You're free to go." She stands, and thanks him. Defiant, hurt beyond hurting, naked and bleeding. Free.

You have lost too much love to fear, doubt and distrust
It's not enough
You just threw away the key to your heart

She's gone. He can breathe. Serena joins him, almost touching him, honestly horrified. "Chuck. Why did you just ... do that?" Honestly curious. He looks at the bar. "Because I love her. And I can't make her happy."

It's not enough.

Sherilyn sits with Poppy Lifton, as a waiter spreads caviar on a cracker so slow as to be pornographic, limitless and decadent: "New York is full of people doing such amazing things. Who knew you could bring wireless to third world countries?" Even Poppy's having trouble pretending to care about that. "Yeah. It's really more of a passion than a job. I mean, it gives so much to the children." For example, Sherilyn (and Georgina) imagine, they can "look at faraway places and read Bible stories... Oh! And they can download Kirk Cameron movies!" Poppy gets a kick out of her, nodding, and Sherilyn makes the play. Poppy's hair looks the best it's ever looked as she jumps at it: "I mean, you're such a great girl... Look, if you can get me a payment today, I'll find a way to get you in." Classic creep talk.

Sherilyn lamely squeals, "I can't wait to help the children!" She reaches for her phone and Poppy tells her there's no time for wire transfer: it'll have to be cash. Sherilyn hesitates; outside, the cops have arrived. Chuck's disappeared, so Serena goes outside to talk to them while Blair texts Sherilyn, who's handing over an envelope of cash, and having trouble handing it over. Not because she's greedy, but because the money is important. Her phone alerts her to a text, playing "Praise To The Lord," and she sees Blair's message: "Police here. All set?" All she can say to Poppy's hard-soft sell is a weak, "God intended for us to meet," and an invitation for Cosmos before she leaves town.

S meets the police outside, and they take her into custody. She's brilliant right beforehand, though: "Chuck Bass had to leave, but the woman he called you about is inside. I can take you." As they're pushing her against the car and putting cuffs on her, against her protests, Blair appears, clapping at them in that absolutely sublime way she's been doing, like they're naughty dogs. It doesn't work. Nate appears, asking for exposition, and for once Blair doesn't have an answer; Serena keeps yelling, "Blair, call Chuck! Call Chuck!" Serena's driven away in the cop car, looking back at them, worried and a little bit scared for herself, while Poppy slips out the front door and vanishes. Bitches, call Chuck!

Blair strides up angrily to OMGeorgie, whose snakeskin headband is suddenly radiant in the light of the restaurant. She smiles nervously and asks Blair what's up. This scene made me sad, sadder than the bar one frankly, because you completely understand both sides of it. So what makes Blair wonderful in the Blair context -- working out her Chuck-related aggression in a sensible way -- makes OMGeorgina incredibly sympathetic in the Georgina context. She's just sitting there wondering if it went off, and then Blair goes off.

"Your plan was a rousing success!" So, they arrested her? "If by her you mean Serena, the answer is yes." She doesn't get it; Blair assumes that's part of the joke. The game, the burlesque, the way the world lines up to hurt her, the shell game of loyalty. Find the lady: "Pretending to find Jesus to take us all down? It borders on brilliant." The money in the envelope, a rapidly panicking Georgina notes, was for new OMJC Bibles, which Blair rightly points out sounds ridiculous. "But you texted me All Set! And Poppy was asking me for a down payment, and all I had was the money my camp gave me to buy Bibles..." Blair leans down, and while it's not that cruel on paper, again Meester gives the lines just enough bite to seem really cruel. Cruel enough to send New Georgina toppling. Most of the tribe of

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Gossip Girl

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