DOWNSTAIRS

Charlie, to an unknown interlocutor: "Yes, this absurdly Byzantine plan went off without a hitch and now they'll be sending me back to Florida for some mental recuperation."

Georgina: "Girl, I gotta say I've been watching and I still don't know what you're up to, but it seems like my kinda shit. You're not even really on meds, are you?"
Charlie: "Child's play, my dear. All I did was run away from home, get Serena to call CeCe and give me a bunch of money, and then act so fucking crazy that they sent me home. The old That Maneuver."
Georgina: "Anyway. Here's my phone number. Call me next season when you're a regular, so it'll be like I'm here even when I'm not and you'll be doing your spooky shit on my behalf."

We'd rather have full-time Georgina, but fine. The Charlie/Ivy twist alone is worth at least 5000 American dollars.

COURTYARD?

Blair: "Hey, what was with giving me to the Prince? I thought we were dumping him."
Chuck: "No, actually your happiness is a valid thing."
Blair, verbatim: "Chuck, that's not the most important thing. People don't write sonnets about being compatible or novels about shared life goals and stimulating conversation. The great loves are the crazy ones. L'amour fou."
Chuck: "Blair, we're not living in Paris in the Twenties."
Blair, verbatim, and amazing: "We both wish we were."
Chuck: "There's a difference between a great love and the right love. I left the Empire State Building last year after two minutes when you didn't show, while Louis waited all night."
Blair: "Which was fine, except for how you went directly to your house and fucked your sister."
Chuck: "All I'm saying is, you deserve a fairytale where shit like that doesn't happen."
Blair: "We make our own fairytales!"
Chuck, dubiously but okay: "Only when we have to. You don't."

They discuss how, for the first time in either of their short sociopathic lives, they feel bad about having fucked around on Blair's fiancé the Prince. Like they actually stare at each other like they're on that show V feeling the creeping horror of experiencing Human Emotion.