Shipper 3: "I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS."
Shipper 2: "Recreational outrage is free entertainment!"
Shipper 1: "College is a very exciting time in a young person's life!"
Shipper 4: "Other people's fictional misfortunes give me a personality! Nothing of note has ever actually happened to me!"
Shipper 5: "Man, if I had a boyfriend right now he would be exhausted from me histrionically offloading all this excess emotion onto him out of nowhere. One day I will."
Serena: "Okay, shoo. I'm perfectly happy with my life, but thank you for your concern."
Georgina: "Good to hear. I will try and wreck that mess if I can. Please rescue me from being a Bedford Wife."
Serena: "Nice coinage. GTFO."
Georgina, verbatim, amazingly: "I haven't conspired since I convinced Dan he was Milo's dad. Unless you count speeding up the process at a hospice to get someone's apartment."
Serena: "I'm looking for Cousin Peepers. She's kind of the new you."
Georgina: "I will eat of her flesh. Let's find her!"
Charlie text, to Everybody: "I have lost my marbles! See you in Hell!"
Georgina: "Oh, for fuck's sake. Even Vanessa is in on this plan? And who is Charlie? No, I don't care. Let's do the Badger, the Melon Drop, the Spanish Prisoner!"
Everybody, splitting up to cover every set this TV show ever used: "Even though you always solve our problems, this time you are not invited."
Georgina: "Okay, what should I do?"
Vanessa, sucking on this moment like an organic nursemaid's teat, drinking deep: "You can just go away."
Everybody: "You still aren't part of this show, you know. But way to be sad some more."
Vanessa: "You know, even I could hear how pathetic I was being just now."