So what's going on with Georgina Sparks is that she's got herself a UES husband to take care of her baby, but it turns out that being Rufus is boring, so when she comes to the Constance Alumni Fundraiser despite never having gone there, she's immensely excited to find everybody running around and screaming and on fire. Why are they in such a tizz?

Well, nobody can find Charlie because she's off her meds and stomping around the place drinking vodka straight, and nobody can find Blair because she's being held hostage in Brooklyn by the shambles of Russell Thorpe, who plans on blowing them both to hell. Shortly thereafter, Serena has talked Charlie off a literal ledge, while Nate and Raina have stood around watching while Chuck rescues Blair. That's when things get interesting. (Raina takes off back to Chicago, but that isn't the interesting part.)

Blair and Chuck, en route to the fundraiser -- where Prince Louis is waiting, stalwart, for his Princess Bride-to-be -- stop off to have some childlike fun at a bar mitzvah, then some grownup fun in a room adjacent to the bar mitzvah. Upon returning to the party and finding Louis still there, Chuck decides that Blair would be better off actually being happy with Louis instead of crazy and scary with him, and after some tearful goodbyes she agrees. Nate buys Chuck this antique globe and makes him pick a spot on it where they can go and then spend the rest of the summer fucking their way back to the UES, and that part was awesome.

Dan and Eric decide to the do the same thing, and take off for the Hamptons so that Dan can whimper about losing Blair and Eric can cheer him up again. Little do they know that Vanessa has discovered the manuscript for Dan's secret novel -- an autobiographical tale of class fetishism proving Gossip Girl's been right about him all along -- and, as her last act of extreme nosiness, sold it to Simon & Schuster so she can play Laura Albert to his JT LeRoy.

After a stern talking to from both Queller and the Peanut Gallery Girls in which she realizes she is human tofu that has never made a decision in her entire life, Serena decides to spend the summer in Montecito with CeCe. She immediately meets Ethan Peck and David O. Russell, becomes a D-Girl, and gets into a fistfight with Lily Tomlin. Oh, and there's a pregnancy test in the Blair/Serena bathroom that could belong to either of them, but who knows how that will go. We can only hope it's Eleanor's and that Blair gets to name the baby.

And what about Cousin Charlie? Well, that part was amazing. Georgina takes a shine to her crazy ass, instantly figures out that her whole storyline has been a lie, and tells her to give her a ring when she comes back next year as a series regular. But wait, who is Cousin Charlie really? Just a random low-level Florida con artist named Ivy, whom Aunt Carol installed as her fake daughter in order to get access to Charlie's trust fund and protect her real daughter from the UES/Rhodes crew.

But now Ivy's got the sneak for UES living, and an extra book of Charlie's checks in addition to her payoff, so we'll be seeing her again shortly. Hopefully getting neither raped nor abused by Chuck so those four shipper nutsacks on the internet can scream and yell about whatever the imaginary hell they're always screaming and yelling about. And, of course, the inevitable Real Charlie Rhodes/Fake Charlie Rhodes Faceoff. Or the Ivy/Juliet Faceoff. Or the Ivy/Juliet/Poppy/Georgina four-way Selina Kyle Invitational.

So that's the score for next year: Blair's planning on a November wedding, Chuck and Nate are off doing it with each other, Vanessa has moved to Spain, Dan's about to be the most hated man in Manhattan, Serena's gone Hollywood, Russell got 20 years for killing Avery, the mysterious pregnant person is pregnant, and Lily's going to be getting her ankle jewelry off around the season premiere. XOXO, and I honestly hope you enjoyed this season as much as I did.