Gossip Girl
The Wrong Goodbye

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 5 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
The Roaring Besides Her

Shippers: "OH MY GOD. That's SO TYPICAL."
Karp: "Um, what is?"
Shippers: "JOSHUA SAFRAN IS THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER OF THIS SHOW."
Karp: "Yep. And Jonathan Safran Foer happens to have a similar name, but I fail to see..."
Shippers: "WE DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT MOST THINGS."
Karp: "Holy shit, could you like Google one thing for yourselves? Ever?"
Shippers: "NO! OUR INTEREST IN THE SCORES OF PEOPLE THAT MAKE THE SHOW WE LOVE IS RESTRICTED TOWARD PICKING ONE RANDOM PERSON AND BLAMING THEM FOR THE SHOW NOT MATCHING OUR FEVERISH FAN-FICTIONAL VERSION OF THE SHOW!"

Marti Noxon: "Trust."

Stephanie Savage: "Joshua Safran, thank you so much for being the new me."
Shippers: "WE STILL HATE YOU TOO! BUT THANK YOU GUYS FOR MAKING THIS SHOW WE WATCH FOR FREE AND LOVE SO MUCH THAT IT MAKES US ACT LIKE ANIMALS TOWARD YOU!"

I mean, it takes an ass to fill every seat. I doubt very many people's feelings are getting hurt by all this nonsense.

Karp: "Wait, so who really wrote this book?"
Vanessa: "I cannot tell you. Just send the checks to me, in Barcelona."
Karp: "Sure thing! That happens all the time in reality."

MONTECITO

Serena: "I couldn't help noticing that you're Gregory Peck's grandson, and that you're reading a collector's copy of my favorite novel The Beautiful & Damned, which I've mentioned more than once."
Ethan Peck: "As it turns out, I'm helping David O. Russell adapt it into a screenplay. Would you like to put on some pants and help me do this job people with actual qualifications would kill for?"
Serena: "What a lucky chance meeting on the beach. I have memorized that entire book."

"Beautiful things only grow to a certain height, and then they fail and fade off."

David O. Russell, randomly: "Nice awkward quoting. You must be Serena van der Woodsen. How would you like to be a D-girl for the first arc of next season?"
Serena: "All my mother and aunt ever did was try to get away from southern California, and it nearly killed them both. Therefore it would be my pleasure to spit in their faces by discovering myself here in Santa Barbara."
David O. Russell: "I don't even need to know your name. Just tell me where in Barcelona you'd like your paychecks sent."

Serena: "Yes, this definitely counts as a choice I'm making for myself."

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