ibid., verbatim: "You're Serena van der Woodsen."
Serena, with a dismissive smirk and sigh: "That doesn't mean what you think it means."
Charlie: "Um, I think it means you have zero accountability and the universe constantly reschedules things like college courses and rape trials for you, and people get abducted to Eastern Europe for even looking at you wrong, and you steal boats and horses to get your parents' attention, and everybody's so hypnotized by your boobs and your hair that even when you're begging for a little help or some boundaries everybody just assumes you're cooler than them, and that ultimately living in a world with absolutely no consequences has made you hate yourself and obsess on people like Dan Humphrey and Blair Waldorf for providing the small amount of pushback that reminds you you're alive."
Serena: "Ah. Then yes. Yes, I wasn't understanding you at first, but yeah. That pretty much covers it."
Vanessa: "Hey! Oh right, Cousin Peepers. I sort of completely forgot we were looking for her. Listen, I found this book you wrote..."
Dan: "Put that away. Put it down and walk away or I will murder you with your own caveman hairdo."
Vanessa: "But Dan, it's so good! It's gross in exactly the way that you and I are gross. I just realized that we're even worse suckups than your sister. What a load off! In fact, I'm just about to get to the part where you talk about what really happened the night Charlie Trout took you on a date and you ended up in the clink..."
Dan: "I can't believe you went through my stuff!"
ibid., verfuckinbatim: "Dan, you know as well as I do you can't be an insider and make great art. You have to stand alone to observe it, and not care whose feelings you hurt, or what people think of you."
Dan: "Absolutely one of the worst things about us is that we feel okay about saying shit like that to each other."
Vanessa: "Get it published. Take a stand. Be a great man instead of always being a good boy."
She also mentions that "somebody" in the book will really like his interpretation of her character. More than likely in the later chapters, but honestly probably all along. Of all the things Dan disliked about Blair, her soul was never one of them.
Vanessa, as a giant hook reaches across the stage to pull her out forever: "DanIjustthinkyouhavebecomeaterribleperson!"
Dan: "Ah, dammit. She got the last word."
Vanessa: Is carried away to Hell.