Blair rolls her eyes at the pictures of Aaron Bobby dressed as Cecil, and totally shits all over the obvious romance Serena is having with the imaginary Caterpillar, which is less out of character, sadly, and keeps screaming: "Focus, Serena! You got me into this! And I'm not losing Yale because of that little tart's libido." Serena shoots an OMG ray out of her forehead and lays it out for Blair, which I love, because there is actually no need to freak out, but... (Okay, actually it does make a little more sense, because Emma's offense is located right in the middle of Blair's blindspot: how do you control through fear when the person has no fear in them? Little Emma has a clearly defined goal, means to accomplish it, and the upper hand. Of none of these things has Blair any experience being on the receiving end, so this is like Hurricane Emma. I can buy that.)
"Why don't you just occupy her for a while? Take her to the charity gala. When you get there, you can say you didn't know how lame it would be. Then it's time for her to go home. You're off the hook." This is why Serena always, always rules. Blair smiles adoringly at her, and Emma comes in talking about how she built an itinerary based on reading Gossip Girl: "I'm thinking we hit Socialista before Beatrice..." Blair grins at Serena, because she now has the option of thinking and smiling, because that's what Serena gives her: "See what I'm dealing with?"
"Emma," Blair says in her least-patronizing tone, "I was thinking, where is the glory in bedding down with some dirty Manhattan hipster who's probably filming you on the nannycam? You really want to make Muffy jealous? Have your flower plucked by one of the elite." So so gross, so so true. Emma's like, "Point me to the elite dick." Serena tells her they will, but distracts her further by offering her closet. Emma squeals like a girl who always wanted cool older sisters, or a mom, and dives in headfirst. Serena shakes her head and grins, and B is like, "I am so in love with you all the time!"
Dan waits at the Bedford Gallery Café and Jerkoff Refuge, and Vanessa's like, "These people in this café with their constant wanting to exchange money for goods and services! It is unfair!" Dan begs her to give him some advice about the Jenny situation, and Vanessa wisely counsels him to keep his stupid mouth shut, because Jenny is wrong and in fact this is not the end of the world, which cuts both ways: "Whatever this whole fashion show thing is, it sounds like she put a lot of work into it." Dan's like, "So we all just ... cover for her? You, me, Nate?" Vanessa awkwardly and abruptly tells him not to put her name in a sentence with Nate's even when it makes sense to do so, because how insensitive, and Dan's like, "Are you seriously bitching at me for taking Nate out of an electricity-free abandoned building?"