Gossip Girl

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Kenley Ruins Everything

Where Nate is standing with Jenny near the red carpet and paparazzi, having one of those Nate things where he forgets what's going on so that exposition can happen, like, he actually goes, "Jenny, what are we doing here at the Palace?" The thing in question where the guerilla fashion will take place is the New York Philanthropic Society's annual gala. Oh no! "I'm no fashion expert, but shouldn't the people seeing your show be, like, not friends with my mom?" Jenny shakes her head and lays down some knowledge. "We're looking for financial backers. Everyone is gonna be here tonight. Fortune 500 CEO's, LVMH, PPR, Hearst... We're looking for people with money, who can get us press." Nate is impressed, and Jenny blows that off: "Sometimes the ends have to justify the means!" OMG, maybe she's also confused about "guerilla" in this context. I always thought the Teen Revolution would be televised. "Here, I pulled you a suit on the way out. It would really mean a lot to me if you stayed." Nate thinks desperately about everything, like how come she has a bespoke suit ready to go in his measurements when most of her outfits seem to be riots of color with simple orthogonal lines and a bunch of crap glued to them, but before the thoughts reach his forebrain, she's giggled and run off. That's a trick she learned from Agnes!

At 1oak, Chuck's off to see the bartender, and Serena tries for like one second to talk about the licorice ring, and B tells her that whether it's "sweet" as in romantic or more literally, Serena needs to STFU until they find Emma. Serena spots Emma being nuzzled by elderly Eurotrash, and B goes, "Looks like you got nailed, just not in the way you wanted." Which is passable, just, and Emma goes, "Give me time. Serge and I were just moving the party over to his place." Blair is grossed out by the Sergeness of Serge, and calls Emma out on being totally tacky, and Serena tries to calm everybody down, but just then Scott who owns the place in real life and famously dated an Olsen Twin, so he totally understands this situation, distracts Serena with her fabulous life and shows her the table he's reserved for her, and Emma makes a break for it. When exactly did Emma become my hero?

Jenny sees the huge amount of people at the gala and gets a little nervous, and then sees the sign, NEW YORK PHILANTHROPIC SOCIETY SALUTES LILLIAN & Bart BASS, and gets a lot more nervous, but before she can run away the door guy asks for her name and she panics. "Uh, yeah, it's Erica. Erica van der Woodsen. Sometimes they leave off the A, my... My parents are the, uh, the guests of honor." The guy clears her, and she tries to leave again, but then Lily walks up. Jenny gets way awkward way fast, and Lily -- who has adorned her alabaster swanlike neck with something like a dreamcatcher for this event -- is like, "Thanks, yeah, it's weird but fun to be the center of attention, and hey listen, what the fuck are you doing here?" Nate comes up in the suit and says he brought her as his date because he's there representing the Archibalds. "Oh, that is so sweet. Have you seen Serena?" Nope. She's too busy trying to stop another generation of herself.

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Gossip Girl

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