Rufus screams and yells and paces, doing his best father impersonation, and they can't find Nate, and Dan finally remembers to check GG, which tells him where they are but also that they are make-out friends, and screams WHAT? He slams the computer closed before they see it, and Gossip Girl kind of lazily wonders if Vanessa is going to predictably freak out, because why else is she even here, but I'm so sure V would hold it against Jenny anyway. They jump in a cab and Rufus is half-irritating, half-adorably befuddled, yelling at the driver to go faster and offering him like single dollar bills, while Dan dances around not telling Vanessa why he has just now decided that Nate is a bad bad man and not a good person like Vanessa and Dan, and ignores another call from Jordan Steele. When they get to the party, Rufus is thankfully turned away, but Lily walks up just in time to get him into the party, and then Bart walks up like, "Did we not discuss this, about no more Rufus?" and she shushes him and pulls him to the bar to get a drink.
Blair has a short discussion with God about how awesome he was for making Emma's mommy a whore, and Serena's like, "Don't worry, we'll find Emma soon." B scoffs, because who cares about Emma at this point, and Serena goes, "Blair, no. This poor little girl's mother is having an affair. No wonder she's acting out." B cannot find it in herself to care when she's got a golden ticket in her phone. Serena tells her no blackmailing a family in crisis, and B fully goes, "Serena, open your eyes! This is a sign from God! He wants me to do this!" I love it when God and Blair cook up their little plans. It's been a while. Serena continues to worry about the disintegrating Boardman family, and B pins the tail on that donkey pretty damn quick: "No argument there, they're even more screwed up than yours."
Which is, of course, the point. For somebody who does this on the regular, Blair's being pretty blind to the fact that Serena has a vested interest in saving this little girl from a fate worse than Claus. (Or Klaus.) Which is interesting, because between Liz Boardman's Eleanorian meanness and Lilyanic sluttiness, what's happening to Emma is pretty much where the Serena biography and the Blair biography meet. I thought she was about Chuck somehow, because it always is, but no: Emma is about how Serena and Blair differ in their approaches to the horrific shit their upbringing has done to them. Serena wants everything awesome and for everybody to get out alive, and Blair wants to pretend it's not happening, and run away as fast as she can. That is terrific, show! I love you! I'm sorry it took me half the episode to get it!