Frankly, I hope it brings emancipation, because whether or not Jenny's being stupid, and she is, Rufus is a fucking failure. How bad do your parents have to be, before you decide to just leave forever? Sometimes worse than this, but I think this is right around the borderline. I mean, like I said, I take this storyline very seriously and very personally, so my mileage probably varies way off the mean here, but every single person on earth at some point has to choose to see their parents as friends, not parents, and I don't really think you can put a number or a definite age on that. Not when all four of those Humphrey bastards are trying to out-wunderkind each other like some kind of deeply mediocre Glass family, because that's not something a parent and child can work through together. That's dreams and life path stuff, and you can't ever be sure your own fears aren't fucking up your kid when it comes to talent, so you keep your hands to yourself until you are absolutely sure they need rescuing, and then that's what you do, because that's your fucking job. Because trust me: they're going to survive either way, and you have the option of being in their lives or not, but at no point does your ego or your art enter into it.
Chuck walks in on Nate "back at the family manor," and notes the minimalist homelessness of its new styling, and gets scared. "What the hell is going on?" Nate brusquely tries to pack up without meeting his eyes, reminding him that he was told the Archibalds were in trouble, and says he's heading for the Hamptons. Chuck goes, "Don't be so dramatic. You're coming with me," and even though they are the words Nate, like all of us, longs to hear, Nate is still too proud, and brushes past him. But OMG what Chuck wouldn't do for Nate, you know? He'd kill a hobbit, sell a baseball. Sell Victrola! I mean, seriously. He's gonna have Nate's ass kidnapped or something, I know it.
Serena tries to pry B out of bed with coffee and the promises that other schools exist besides Yale, like Princeton. "Princeton is a trade school! There's only Yale!" That would be funny for any school, so it's okay to laugh. "Well, I'm proud of you for not succumbing to your baser instincts. Hey, even though you might not get into Yale, at least this way you won't go to hell!" B's phone rings, and Serena answers, and it's Dean Berube! Just then, Aaron-Bobby shows up and steals Serena away.
"So, uh, I was thinking you, me, assorted breakfast pastries." Serena's like, "How many assorted pastries? And by that I mean you are a whore, because in that metaphor, 'pastries' means 'young ladies.'" He finally cops to being a huge slut, in the most Dan-like "this is your problem" way, to a degree that I didn't notice it at first, but he's like, "Yes, I am carrying much in the way of diseases, and that girl was one of several women I'm fucking. But you'll be surprised to note that I am not the problem here, because either you feel something or you don't, and you're looking for an excuse not to exercise your bravery by being with me, and I can't stop thinking about you and looking at camp stuff, and I think fate has brought us back together again." I didn't really even paraphrase there. That's basically what he said.