Serena and Blair are confused when they meet at the elevator, and Blair hisses and spits until Serena explains about the text she received, which of course B did not send, and they figure out that Chuck and Nate pulled the trigger on this one, and head downstairs to beat them up. But the elevator malfunctions: "I'm trapped in the elevator with someone who sucks all the air out of the room," Blair screeches, "Send help or I'll be dead within the hour!" Which is usually stupid on TV, but this time is awesome, because Chuck's godlike voice comes back over the intercom and tells them to pull it together. After he tells them about the single malt and Ladurée macaroons in the storage box, and signs off. Blair stares at the doors, while Serena leans boredly against the back wall, and nearly smiles to herself. "So. What did my text supposedly say?" She keeps the hope out of her voice, but not Serena: "That you were sorry. And you missed me." Blair nearly cries; she closes her eyes and says, with a secret smile, "Did you text me back?" After a few minutes of nervousness, she turns around and looks, and S nods wryly. Of course she did.
Okay, they're walking. Handmaiden #3 is one Miss Jane Cordelia Trapp, escorted by Mr. Theodore Davis III. #1, the one that looks like Vanessa, is Miss Sawyer Harriett Bennett, escorted by Mr. Evan Jameson Jr. She strikes a funny sexy pose for her portrait, and Jenny gets ready to ascend the stage: "Miss Jennifer Tallulah Humphrey, escorted by Mr. Graham Collins..." Two things happen. #1 is: Tallulah? Really? Every time I think we know every way the Humphries hamstrung their kids, they pull out a new one. #2 is, another girl runs up and beats Jenny to the stage, handing her a card with a correction while Kira preens on the steps.
"My apologies. Miss Kira Abernathy, escorted by Mr. Graham Collins." The applause kicks up again, and Jenny freaks out, and Eric stares with the evil burning inside of him. The woman asks Jenny where the eff her escort is, and Rufus is out in the audience like, "Who is that? What is happening? Where are we?" and Jenny just mumbles and runs away, because what a twist. Gossip Girl looooves it: "Jenny Humphrey went to a ball, Jenny Humphrey had a great fall. And none of her minions, mentors or friends want to put Jenny together again!" Nice one, GG.
"Bitch" comes back around again; this time the Plastiscines are playing live and the lead singer looks, as promised, exactly like Jenny and Serena's baby. Kira's enjoying the show with Graham by her side, and Jenny's still whipping through the place like a loon, freaking out. Lily holds out her arms and yells, "Jenny, my darling! What happened?" Rufus is still confused about everything and wonders if Jenny can pick somebody else to do the stair-walking activity with, and Jenny screams, "You only get one chance!" It's like a nightmare!