Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
We Are Curious

Olivia gets off the phone and reports that her parents, manager and three agents are flying in from LA on Monday to force her into doing EKIV: "It's like The Sopranos, but with bagels." What is this, seven episodes? She has yet to land a single line. That's worse than Aaron Rose's batting average. How sad. Anyway, if she's doing the movie they better whisk her away and show her what college is "really" like, for "real" college kids just like them. Only Dan and Vanessa could manage to hoodwink themselves with some kind of Tweeterbooking Dove Soap teen-spirit O Pioneers branding scheme.

(God, remember that Daria episode after we decided to hate Jane Pratt because aliens had taken over her body and she was no longer authentic? And Jane Pratt came to Daria's high school to find out what "real" people were doing and I don't know, Daria probably made her drink paint thinner or something -- I only really cared about Tiffany and Quinn -- although I just recovered a precious memory of my Dad getting drunk enough to admit once that he'd always wanted to bone Jane Lane. And anyway, does this entire paragraph make me Rufus Humphrey?)

And so this is really great, but kind of complicated. Basically this show usually pulls one interesting music trick each week, like it'll have some song that hearkens back to a previous song (commencement/first day of college), or an instrumental song that normally has very important lyrics (Yale Dean's party), or a song that always cues certain shit ("One Week Of Danger" and "URA Fever," obviously), or that is literally about one situation but plays in the parallel situation, or a cover and usage that reverse the meaning of the original song, etc. And I usually go on and on about it, because it's awesome. But in this episode, all of those things happen.

You thought it might be okay
Between you and him
Between me and you
You felt it might be better to change your life
But not tonight

I want to figure it out before it's too late
Before you find out how you really feel

...Is what the words would say if this weren't a spare piano version of the song "I Am Down," by the Plastiscines, which also makes in-story sense because they'll be dancing to it at Cotillion. And obviously the words of this song are about the upcoming threesome, which the threesome is now only practicing just like Jenny is practicing her dance moves to this song, painfully, in the back hallway at Cedar Lane. But additionally, they will end up applying to her own threesome, with Eric and Jonathan, which is more of a quadrille because you also have Kira in there, and all of them are mirroring each other's steps to this song. Either way she doesn't know the steps; either way, it's a dance that never stops.

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Gossip Girl




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