Rufus enters Dan's room -- after knocking, notably, like human beings do -- and sees Dan reading a book about "sensuous massage." Dan is the most nightmarish virgin boyfriend of all time. I take back what I said about missing high school. Dan mumbles about how he has tension and stress between his shoulder blades, but it's not like Rufus cares, so he drops it: "I'm headed to the gallery to test-run a 24-hour projection installation." Vanessa and J are there, as well, but Dan declines -- he's going to just "chill" at home. "Alone? On a Saturday night? With your new girlfriend?" Rufus sits down, and Dan gets even more afraid that they are going to have a sex talk, so his voice gets higher and higher, but Rufus lays off. "Well, just be safe. Don't do anything you're not ready to do...or she's not. Oh, and lose the football sheets...and Cedric."

At the gallery, Jenny has once again stupidly come to Vanessa for advice. V tells her she looks good for a dead messenger, and then hands her some bullshit line about how "Now Blair knows the truth, and she and Nate can talk about it. Honest communication is what every good relationship is based on." A) Not that you would know, which to be fair she admits, and but B) "honest communication" in a relationship kind of implies the people in the relationship, not randoms off the street spreading gossip and bullshit. Either they're grownups or they're not, but either way, that has nothing to do with you. That's like cracking open a butterfly's chrysalis and being like, "I guess that half-formed dead butterfly just didn't have the moral fortitude to be honest about its relationships!" Or, if you're Vanessa, breaking into somebody's house and stomping outside their oven so you can say, "That soufflé simply could not stand the pressures of adult romance!" When it's not even your house, and when you have never, ever baked anything in the first place.

Jenny starts talking about the horrors of betrayal, and V sniffs out that she has now changed topic, to Rufus and Alison. And sadly, it's not that far a jump: she's fourteen and so starved for maternal attention that she's going to Blair Waldorf and Vanessa Abrams for this. She's going to end up a Manson girl, I swear. Vanessa cooks up another helping of bullshit about how "maybe you don't go back, maybe you go forward," and how it's better to shove your way into other people's shit and ruin their lives for them: "Get two people in a room willing to be balls-out honest? It might get ugly, but eventually, the dust has to settle...and then you can see if there's hope." J does the ankle-dip of hope, but mostly, do not ever do anything Vanessa tells you to do, because she is a giant hypocrite and because she doesn't know what the hell she's talking about.