Dan is sweaty and breathing hard on the dismount, and looks over at a very bored and spacy Serena. "How was I?" She points at the doorway: "I don't know. Let's ask the judges." Kati raises a scorecard, upside down, with a 4 on it, and hilariously breezes, "I was gonna give you a 3, but since you're a virgin I gave you an extra point." Kati and Iz are so much cooler in Dan's sick little noggin! He whines at them that his virginity is a choice, which is never true, and that "sex is meaningful, like art," and one "shouldn't rush art." God. I just threw up an entire box of Godiva Gold Collection Chocolates, Dan. Iz attacks Kati all, "Who's Art? Did you sleep with him?" She repeats the question a few times, her voice slowly morphing into Rufus's voice, and Dan wakes up to his dad yelling at the phone outside. "Yes, Alison, I did encourage you...to do your paintings, not the next-door neighbor. Hello? Hello?" Dan comes out all sleepy and cute and Rufus apologizes for screaming infidelities like that. Dan puts all the pieces together and Rufus tells him it's complicated...just as Jenny sneaks into the house, eavesdropping tools at the ready, like big sis Vanessa taught her. "Mom's having an affair," Dan protests: "It's easy when you just say it." Rufus says it's harder when you're talking to your son, which is sad and sweet, but Dan's like, "No, because now I know why she's never, ever coming home." Jenny loudly shuts the door and calls into the apartment. Rufus vanishes to go grocery shopping, and Dan goes back to doing "homework," and Jenny's all alone with thoughts of her mom and how everybody around her is so sexually dysfunctional that her obsession with her would-be rapist is starting to look normal.