Nate calls his dad from ten blocks away so they can continue to discuss the Captain's unstoppable vampiric destruction of his son's life, but the Captain is of course all, "I'm going to need a raincheck on that conversation we are never, ever going to have because [coke talk] and Jesus I'm so tired I wish I could just sleep but how can I when there's so much to do?!" Nate puts on his resolved face, which looks a lot like his other face, and Gossip Girl's like, "See? All parents are liars. Don't trust them."

Chuck feeds a cherry to a burlesque whore, she ties the stem in a knot, and he takes it off her tongue, and he's very drunk: "You are...really talented." OMG, Gossip Girl, my dad can do that. Jenny Humphrey can do that. Cherry-stem knots stopped being sexy around the time L.A. Law went off the air. It's not even that tight a knot. Bart comes in just as Chuck is all over the girl, which is too bad, and Chuck's like, "Oh, um, see? Investment potential all around you!" Bart starts yelling about how apparently this is Chuck's latest scheme whereby Bart pours "hundreds of thousands of dollars into an excuse" for Chuck to be around booze and women, which he was already doing anyway. Chuck's like, "No! I'm being gross on my off time right now! Didn't you read the proposal?" And Bart did, and was duly impressed, which is why he came down, but Chuck and the cherry stem ruined it: "You want to impress me with your commitment to something? Try getting a few As in school, or maybe a part-time job." Aww. And Chuck's back to looking heinous as well. Bart storms off and Cherry Stem is like, "Whaa?" Chuck tears off after Bart, who is getting into a limo with some Asian lady to have lunch. Chuck is vindicated, because as far as he knows, a limo is just a wheeled staging area for rape attempts. "Looks like the pot calling the kettle black has young Bass boiling over, and if we know Chuck, he's not one to let things lie. Someone pour that man a drink!"