Outside stately Waldorf Manor, N is trying to get the Captain to admit that he has a drug problem, pointing out the tweaked and embarrassing hurricane he has become. Dad's not buying it. N -- both sweetly and smartly -- calls his attention to the Waldorf deal and how important it is, to their family. "I mean, you've been selling me out trying to make it happen -- pushing me towards Dartmouth, towards Blair...Dad, you're totally sabotaging all of it tonight!" The Captain reminds Nate, for the first time in the history of the UES making this connection: "I'm the adult. You're the kid!" N is well aware; the Captain tries to push past him back inside, and Nate tries to get him to calm down, and then the Captain...fully punches him in the head! (Not the face! Not the face!) Cops immediately appear, and attend to Nate, and the whole time the Captain is telling them to fuck off, and finally Nate's like, "Sorry, but fuck it. Check his pockets while you're arresting him." They take the Captain into custody, and N bribes the doorman: "My father went home sick." But the doorman, GG notes, is not the only witness: Blair's watching through a window while all this goes down. "Spotted on Fifth Avenue: a father-and-son showdown. Too bad not all the witnesses can be bought off."
Bart is now frantic on his cell about how Lily's not taking his calls, so freaked out now that he's barely angry. "I can't believe you did this! This isn't high school, Chuck." Chuck is very sorry, and promises to explain and make it all better, but Bart's not so sure. "If she doesn't, I'm not sure that's my fault. There's a reason she was so quick to believe me," he says, which is not hugely smart, and then Paulette comes grinning out of the Ladies' Lounge, where she has discovered a fire-eater; Bart puts on a brave face and smiles, telling Paulette to set a meeting with Chuck so they can move forward; he sets out to find Lily. Chuck and Paulette continue to explore, but he feels guilty. Poor Chuck.
Blair stops Nate from getting into a taxi, asking what the hell he's doing. "I'm going to Victrola, I promised Chuck. It's important to him." Blair tells him about witnessing the attack and arrest, and asks why he didn't come to her about it. "I've tried, Blair. But every time I try, something's got your attention. A dinner party, you know, a masked ball..." She's like, "Yeah, let's talk about that masked ball. Let's talk about how, while I was waiting for you to find me so that we could finally be together, you were confessing your feelings and kissing Serena. I thought I was doing everything right." Aww. He tells her it's not her fault, like that helps, and she's like, "Do you love me?" For real! He doesn't say anything, so she hides her face for a second and when she comes back up, she's fully in Blair mode. "You should deal with your father. He needs you. You know what? I don't." He gets it, because he gets her, and she takes off in his cab, and he stares into space, because it really is very hard to be Nate! It's exhausting to be Nate.