Chuck and Blair meet on the floor and they go, "It's so cold in here, I can barely feel my fingers," and "Cold? I'm practically feverish," they say. (This will matter later, when shit gets real.) (Real hilarious.) Everything goes wavy and a maître de leans over and licks a statue and everybody puts on masks and it's just faces, lips, hair, hands holding hands touching hands reaching out touching me touching you, and finally the maelstrom fades and the madness passes and Chuck's like, "For real, where did you hear that Jack was in Chile this summer?" Once again Blair blows him off, breezily, and he gets more and more worried that B still has interest in old Uncle Jack even after he managed to make her feel like a whore to such an extent that she crossed the ocean twice and had a little French girl murdered.

Cynthia Rowley. At the same party as Joe Zee? AMAZING. Maybe Awesome Erin from Joe Zee's office is in the back making out with Mr. Brad Goreski somewhere and later they will tweet about it and be like, "It was amazing but kind of weird and I don't think I would do it again, but you should try everything once." Maybe Olivia Palermo is living in the walls of the Waldorf house and only comes out at night to prowl around and eat like a stick of celery each evening that she has melted down with her napalm saliva. Maybe she got Mr. Brad Goreski and that's why he's not calling me back: Locked up somewhere cold and lonely, nobody to bowtie his little bowties for him, workin' on his lats and just cryin' and cryin' like usual.

I don't want to get into what Serena and Nate are actually talking about because it's not that awesome on paper, but the whole scene is so awesome. He makes her recite the Gettysburg Address, because that is indeed something Serena van der Woodsen would be able to do on command.